Determination [ COMPLETED ]

starvation

My first day of school was horrible. Guys kept hitting on me and wouldn't stop. I want to drink and smoke so bad. I'm desperate. My parents have me on lock down. My parents have out me on sibling lock down. If I leave my bedroom a siblings has to be with me.

I was sitting on the couch and I got up then avia got up. "Calm down I'm going pee." I mumbled. Then I started to walk and she followed. "You can stop."

"Mom and dad told me to follow you everywhere." Avia said. "I don't care, leave me alone!"

She kept following me. Then I pushed her. And of course she started crying. I rolled my eyes. Then I ran out the door. I went to my secret stash in the studio. It's kinda risky but mom and dad check my room everyday for anything. I get a beer and roll a blunt. I drink and smoke.

All my worry went away. Once I finished I went back into the house. "What is your problem?!" Dad yelled. "Nothing."

"You smell like weed." Dad looked in my eyes. "What is your problem! Can't you fucking stop! I'm gonna send your ass to rehab for ever until you behave like a girl! YOU HAVE NO Choice now! Your quitting boxing and your going into gymnastics!" Dad yelled.

"What the hell?!" I yelled at him. "Don't what the hell at me!" I looked at Brock who was in the door crying. "Fine, I'm sorry dad." I looked at him in the eyes. "

"Thank you. I want you to just try gymnastics. Okay? You have to do it for a month or two. Maybe you will even like it."

"I doubt it."

| 2 months later |

I got my cast off and I started doing gymnastics. I'm not allowed to go to boxing. When ever I go to gymnastics it makes my dad so happy. So I just say I like it when I hate it. I'm not happy.

"Hi mom." I smile. "Hi baby. Ready to go to gym? " Mom smiled. "Totally, I'm do happy that dad made me do it. I actually like it." I lied. Mom smiled

I got in my Leo and then we got in the car with Avia. It was quiet, "thanks mom." I smiled me and avia jumped out. "Hey Chasity!" My one friend said. "Hi." I should be boxing but I'm not. I'm out being some fake person.

I stopped eating because honestly I feel so fat when I'm here. So I haven't eaten in maybe a week.

"When is lunch break!?" I moaned.
"Now! Coach Mary yelled at us." Me and avia met up and we went to break room. I pulled out the lunch mom made us. "Emma, you want my lunch?" I asked. "Sure, I have eaten you lunch for a week, are you sure you don't want it?" I smiled. "Yeah, I keep having big breakfasts." I lied.

Avia looked at me, she heard that. I pulled avias arm. "You tell I'll kill you." I threatened. "But that's not healthy! Chasity! I know I act like I hate you but I love you and your beautiful, I don't know why your starving yourself, you are beautiful, you have a 4 pack. Please eat something!" My little sister freaked out with tears growing. "No, I can't I'm losing weight. This is the only thing I have control over my life right now. Dad made me stop boxing, forced me to this, at school I have to walk around with hand cuffs on because I was put in the high risk. I can't leave my bedroom with out you having to follow me. I have control over this. Please don't say anything avia I'll be fine." I faked a smile. "Chas-"

I just hugged her. "Go to class." I playfully pushed her. I knew this wasn't good but I had to.

"50 SIT UPS AND 40 BURPEES GO!" Coach Mary yelled at us. I did my situps but I was having trouble focusing and breathing. In the middle of my burpees I fell to my knees and blacked out.

I don't remember anything but I woke up with Avia and coach and dad and mom around me. "I'm fine." I instantly said. "are you sure?" Mom said. "Yeah, just over worked it I guess." I fake smiled. "Chasity!" Avia whispered. "I'm fine avia." Then we got in the car and went home. I took a shower then took a nap.

| hour later |

I woke up and brushed my hair then went downstairs. "Good your awake, we were just going to send avia to wake you up for dinner." Dad smiled. "Oh, can I go to Camis? For dinner?" I smiled. "Your grounded sorry." Mom said. "Oh yeah, I'm going to go to sleep I don't actually feel good still." I lied.

I looked at avia and she began to freak out. "Chasity! Stop!" She yelled. "Avia! You promised!"

"Woah woah what is going on?" Dad laughed. "Mom, dad, the real reason Chasity passed out was because she hasn't eaten in over a week!" Avia blurted out. I started to cry. "Is that true?" Mom asked walking to me. I nodded. "Why?" Dad asked "because! I'm fat! Everyone at gym is super skinny and it's the one thing I have control over!" I yelled. Then I ran to my room. "Chasity!" Dad yelled running after me. Mom came running up also. I sat on my bed and started crying. "What do you mean you onky have control about this?" Mom asked sitting next to me. But I stood up, "dad I have no fucking control over my life. Thats why I smoke and drink, because you guys pressure me so much! When I do those things I have no worrys. I never wanted to do gymnastics but I feel so bad to tell you I fucking hate it! I hate it so much id rather kill myself then keep doing gym! Im in the highrisk category at school." I yelled. Mom started to tear up. "Ugh whatever." I grabbed my wallet then left. "CHASITY JONES BUTLER! GET BACK HERE!" dad yelled but I ran to a party.

Basically what happened at the party I got super drunk and very high and did coke (cocaine). Then I had sex I dont know if I used protection.