Determination [ COMPLETED ]

Horrible Christmas Eve

| Chasity |

I looked at the stick and it came back Negative. Oh thank god, but I felt so guilty.

"Can I have my phone? Tomorrow is Christmas!" I begged to mom. "Fine, only a little bit." She smiled. I ran into there room and grabbed my phone and went onto instagram. "Loganlol posted a new picture" I looked at the picture and it was her with a another girl saying "bestie" but what the heck.. I'm her best friend.

Well I mean I wasn't really, I was being a fake friend but still! She can't fucking do that! I got super mad and I went to make an account. I made a fake guys instagram, and followed her. "WHAT A FUCKING WHORE! YOU SLEEP WITH ME NOW I GOT 2 DIFFERENT STDS!" I commented. Just then a bunch of hate started towards her. I laughed, don't mess with me.

I mean so what? Then she texted me "did you see what people are saying about me!" I ignored her. I handed mom my phone back and went into my room. "Kids! Tomorrow we are going Christmas eve swimming!" Dad reminded us. Everyone cheered. "Yay! I missed that!" I laughed. "Hah yeah me to." Gavin smiled. Then we hugged. "Dinner!" Dad yelled.

"Hamburgers?" I laughed. "We are about to eat our hearts out tomorrow and we having hamburgers?" I laughed sitting down. Then emmi sat next to me. "What can I say? We got lazy." Mom laughed. "So how was everyone's day?" Gavin asked. "Pretty good, I read a book about dogs." Avia smiled. "Really? What was it about?" Mom asked.

"it was about the different breeds of dogs it also talked about this thing called humping.-" Then me and Gavin started laughing really hard. Mom and dad looked at eachother and held back in the laughing. "Do - do you know what that is?" Mom said. "Something about how they make little babies." She smiled proudly. Dad continued to talk about how it's normal and stuff when I coughed and felt stuff happen. I got up and ran to the bathroom because I was wearing leggings. "Excuse you Chasity." Dad mocked. "Hold on!" I yelled. I ran to the bathroom and pulled down my pants and there it was. My period, out of all freaking days.

There is like 5 days left in the month! It can't do that! I groaned in frustration. I put a pad on and quickly changed into jeans and made my way to the dinner table. "You alright?" Mom said confused. "Mhm." I mumbled. I started to feel the cramps set in. "Great great." I thought. "May I be excused?" I asked. "Sure." Dad said. I went into the kitchen and got some Tylenol. "Really god! I was going to go swimming tomorrow! You know I don't know how to use a tampon, like what the actual fuck!" I thought angrily to my self changing into pjs.

Then there was a knock on my door "sweetie are you feeling alright? Are you sick?" Dad asked coming in. "Yeah yeah, I'm fine. I..I just got my period." I hid my face in embarrassment. "Chasity, you don't have to feel werid about it. It's normal, you know? I'll get mom if you want." Dad said sitting at the edge of my bed rubbing my back. "No no, I'm fine." I said trying to hold back the tears. "No baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing! ITS NOT STUFF..I can talk to my dad about!" I started to yell then stopped. "Sorry. But I will never judge you." Then he left. I hit my pillow and went to sleep.

|Next day|

"CHASITY! ITS CHRISTMAS EVE!" Emmi yelled running into my room. "Eww! Did you have a nose bleed or something?" She said in disgust. I rolled my eyes."What time is it? And when are we going to grandmas?"

"It's approximately about 8 and we are leaving at 1." She smiled. "Well Okay get out!" I shoved her out and I showered and got dressed. I looked at my bloody sheets. I rolled my eyes and took them off my bed and put them I'm the washing machine. "I have no idea how to work this." I giggled at myself. "Okays it's now 10. What now." I yawned. "Late Christmas shopping!" Mom and dad yelled. "Who is riding with who?" Dad asked. "I'm with mom!" I yelled. "I'm with dad!" Emmi and Brock yelled. That left Gavin and Daxton and avia with us. "Actually I'll go with dad." Gavin said. Well its just me and avia and daxton. I grabbed on moms arm and pulled her to the side. "Can we get uh tampons also?" I asked softly. "You know how to use them?" I shook my head no. "I guess it's good to try." I smiled softly.

|at grandmas|

"THE SHAYTARDS HAVE ARRIVED!" Dad yelled opening the door and Brailee and Gage and cooper all ran to us. We greeted everyone and sat down for lunch. Mom let me use my phone, when it started to blow up. From Logan, "may I be excused?" I asked dad. "No, it's Christmas eve and you have to sit." Dad said firmly. "Please! It will take a second!" I fought back. "No! Sit down!" Dad fought back a little louder. I rolled my eyes but as I sat down I looked at my phone one more time to see if I got a text message. And I did;

"chasity! This is bella! Logan tried to kill herself and she is in the hospital!"

My world stopped, my heart stopped. I jumped up from the table leaving everyone silent. I ran to the bathroom and dialed her number.

C: bella! What happened!
B: she swolled a bunch of pills and tried to hang herself but I walked into her room right as it happened! People are saying she is pregnant and std infected and horrible things!
C: oh my gosh

I hung up and started sobbing. I didn't mean for any of that! "Chasity? You okay? We're getting ready to go swimming." Mom said. I stopped crying for a second. "Yes..yes.. I'm fine.. I'm going to get ready to." I wiped my tears and put my swim suit top on and put a pad on my swim shorts and then Nike shorts. Then I put the tampons and my phone in my bag. "Were you crying? Are you okay?" Avia asked. "What do you freaking care?!" I snapped at her. She held her hands up. "Sheesh."

"Stop with the attitude! Chasity, there will be consequences for you leaving the table when told not to!" Dad snapped back. I rolled my eyes. We arrived at the pool and we were the only ones in there. Everyone ran in I obviously went straight for the bathroom. I got one up there but it freaking hurt so I took it out. I kept trying until I got fed up and I started crying.

| Colette |

Everyone ran in but Chasity ran to the bathroom. I'll let her do her. "Come on baby!" Shay yelled from in the pool. "I'm going to wait until chasity comes out!" I yelled back smiling. "Mommy! Mommy!" Then I looked at Brock on the jumping board. "Shay will you go spot him please!" I said nervously. Shay laughed and went to the board.

"Where is Chasity? We have been here 30 min and I haven't seen her." Carlie sat next to me with her pregnant bellie. "She is in the bathroom. She is on her period and she doesn't know how the tampon.. works..." I laughed. "You haven't showed her?"

"What? I'm pretty sure she doesn't want me looking at her..stuff." I laughed. "My mom did." Carlie laughed. "I'll go check on her." I got up and went into the bathroom and i heard crying. "Chasity?" I asked she opened the stall door she was in the big handicapped one.

"What? Why are you crying?" I looked at her. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I chuckled.

"For everything! I'm horrible! I cut myself! I had not protected sex, I can't get this fucking tampon to work! I just want to go home!" She sobbed. I looked at her.

This is not my daughter, where did she go?

I just sat there next to her letting it all soak in.