Steal Your Heart

Chapter 30: I'm here

ADDIE

"Adds, the boys are really curious about you and Ethos," kuwento ni Zia habang iniikot-ikot niya ang straw sa vanilla milkshake na iinom niya. "Lalo na si Axel. He's been asking for an explanation last night."

"I'm sure they'll ask Ethos about that. Magkukuwento naman 'yon," kibit-balikat kong sagot. "Hm, and Axel? You guys don't owe him an explanation. He doesn't deserve that."

"Still bitter about what happened three years ago?" nanunuksong sabi sa akin ni Mary kaya binato ko siya ng tissue.

"Of course not," tanggi ko. "It's just that... there are some things that cannot be fixed anymore because it's not worth it."

"But Axel's still a part of your past, Addie. And we're still with the same circle of friends so I guess that makes him a part of your present, too. You don't really have a choice," paalala ni Rheigne at umiling naman ako.

"Well, I do have a choice. I can act like he doesn't exist and I've been doing that since last night," sabi ko pa. "And he's also doing the same thing so I guess it's better this way."

"Seriously, Adds? Are you blind? He's not ignoring you last night, he's observing you and Ethos," Michelle pointed out. "Halos tunawin ka na nga nung tao sa tingin, eh."

"That's impossible. Baka nagulat lang siya tungkol sa amin ng pinsan niya," balik ko at napailing na lang sila.

"I can't believe this! Where did the hopeless romantic Addie go?" tanong ni Mary. I shrugged.

"I buried her together with my memories with Axel," sagot ko. "But that doesn't mean that I'm cynical about love, okay? I still believe in it. I'm just done assuming things and I don't need to assume things with him. What happened between us is already a finished chapter in my book. Hindi na natin 'yon kailangan balikan."

"But, Adds... we're sure that there are still some things that you have to hear from Axel. I am sure that he has an explanation for what he did before and I am sure that you still have these questions inside your head," sabi naman ni Rheigne.

"I'm okay now and we're both doing good. Let's not make things complicated anymore," sagot ko habang pinaglalaruan ko ng tinidor ang natirang pesto chicken penne sa plato ko. Nawalan na ako ng gana dahil sa topic namin.

"Adds, don't take this the wrong way but I understand where the girls are coming from," sabi naman ni Zia. "Whether you admit it or not, you still have an unfinished business with Axel and you have to confront this because you're not being totally honest with Ethos. Isa pa, they're cousins. Kailangan mong pakisamahan si Axel kahit ano pang gawin mo kasi siguradong magtataka si Ethos kung mapapansin niyang aloof kayo sa isa't isa."

"You can't keep your past with his cousin forever, Addie. Ethos will eventually find out," sabi pa ni Michelle.

"And trust me when I say that Ethos will surely doubt what you have right now because of that," dagdag ni Zia. "So if you want to keep this good thing going, Adds... you better make peace with your past 'cause it's going to ruin your present if you don't."

"I... I don't know, girls," hesitant kong sabi sa kanila. "I'm not sure if I'm ready."

"Hindi ka naman namin minamadali, Addie. We've been letting you do this on your own pace for the past three years now. But you can't run away from Axel forever. You have to face your demons. Lalo pa't ang liit talaga ng mundo niyong dalawa," sabi pa ni Rheigne.

I know that my friends have a point, I am just not yet ready to accept that. But I have to, I know that I have to.

"I'll consider it," sagot ko, finally giving up with their arguments. "Can we now drop this? Let's not ruin the mood."