You're My Destiny - discontinued

Chapter 12

Today is the day that Harry’s coming back. I’m still in school and I can’t wait till school is over so I can finally see him again. I’m way more excited about this than I would prefer; I would never be this excited and nervous to just see a friend. The fact that I’m extremely socially awkward, makes talking to 5 extremely good-looking boys even more nerve-racking.

The bell rings for lunch. Finally, I’m starving! I make my way to my locker and put my books away. I see Jenny walking towards me while I grab my food.

‘’Hey Jen! How was Politics?’’

‘’Boring as always, I don’t know why I even chose that class anymore,’’ she complained while rolling her eyes. ‘’How was Maths?’’

‘’It was a breeze, as always. I got 97% on my Calculus test,’’ I said nonchalantly. Maths has always been a piece of cake for me.

We both have each other’s timetables memorised since we are like two peas in a pod. We walk out of the building to the area we always sit, start eating our lunch and gossip. Our normal routine.

‘’Did you hear about Sebastian and Rachel?’’

‘’No! What happened?’’ I leaned in close to hear the juice.

‘’He cheated on him and she dumped his sorry ass!’’

I laugh at the news since I never liked Sebastian. He was such a perve and creep. ‘’Good, he deserves it!’’

We keep talking about the latest gossip until I see Jenny’s eyes widen at something in the distance.

‘’What are you looking at Jen? You’re scaring me.’’

‘’It’s nothing Beth, don’t turn arou—.‘’

Too late. I turned around to see what she was so surprised about and I probably had the exact same reaction. Drew and Lucy were walking hand in hand. I turned away quickly, knowing I wouldn’t be able to take another glance. I can feel the tears forming but I don’t want anyone seeing me with my guard down. I quickly stand up go somewhere I can cry in peace.

‘’Beth! Where are you going? The bell’s going to go soon!’’ I hear Jenny scream as I run off.

I run to the only place I am comfortable enough to release all my feelings; the auditorium. No one ever comes here except for me. The building is on the other side of the school so it takes around 5 minutes to get there. I finally reach it, run up onto the stage and break down. All the walls that I normally have up, come tumbling down now that I’m alone. This is the second time I have cried over Drew. I need to get over him and fast. He doesn’t care about me the same way I do and he never will. I don't even like him anymore but seeing him with her reminds me that he chose her. He probably would've chosen any over me; I'm not worthy enough to be loved. I need to vent out all the heartbreak that has been building up for so long. I look around once again to make sure no one is here. I stand up and walk up to the front of the stage. There is already a microphone and microphone stand there, waiting to be used in the next assembly. It’s usually on, even though no one uses it.

‘’Hello?’’ I hear my voice echo through the empty auditorium, proving my assumptions to be right. I close my eyes and let out a deep sigh. I open my eyes again and imagine that there’s an audience watching me. I do what I know will help me deal with all this and I sing.

(A/N this is All In My Head-Tori Kelly)

‘’I see you with her, and it crushes me inside
Guess I should stop, thinking about you all the time
Maybe this is what I needed, maybe this is a sign
Maybe I’ve been blind to reality, baby tell me.

Every little glance my way
Every time you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested
Could you tell me, was it real or was it all in my head
Was it real or was it all in my head.

She’s so pretty, you two look so great
Time for me to move on now, it was probably just a silly crush anyway
But I just can’t help but think that we, we could’ve had something
Have I really been blind to reality? Baby tell me.

Every little glance my way
Everytime you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested
Could you tell me, was it real or was it all in my head
Was it real or was it all in my head.

Was it real or was it fake?
Was it all a mistake?
Boy I just gotta know, was it all in my head, all in my head
Did you ever feel the same?
Was my mind just playing games?
Boy I just gotta know was it all in my head, all in my head

Every little glance my way
Everytime you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested oh
Could you tell me, was it real or was it all in my head, in my head oh
Was it real or was it all in my head? Yeah, yeah’’

I finish the song off and feel relieved. Tears are falling from my eyes, but those tears feel like negative energy escaping my body. I feel the weight of the world go off my shoulders as I feel liberation take over my body. I promise myself, that these will be the last tears I cry for him.

All the sudden the sound of clapping and cheering take over the auditorium and my mind. I stare out to the second floor and see a familiar figure. Harry. What is he doing here? This is mortifying; he is the first person other than my mum to ever hear me sing. How much did he hear? I probably sounded like a dying cat. Harry starts walking down the stairs and towards me.

‘’Harry, what are you doi—, ‘’

He wraps his arms tightly around me. His touch sends electric shocks through my body that I have never experienced before. Could he feel this? I am literally getting goosebumps, even though his warm body is wrapped around me. I stay standing, not hugging him back, still in shock and embarrassment that he heard me sing. Being in Harry’s embrace calms me down and I gently hug him back. We stayed like that for what seemed like seconds, when in reality it was much longer. I hear him sniffle and pull myself out of his soothing embrace and lean back to get a clear view of his face. His nose is red, his eyes glossy and his cheeks tear-stained.

‘’Harry, are you crying?’’ I asked while arching an eyebrow.

‘’These are manly tears,’’ he croaks.  He stares at me and says, ‘’It’s just; you have such an amazing voice Beth, really! You carry such emotion and paired with your voice, I couldn’t help but shed some tears.’’

‘’You think I have an amazing voice?’’ I asked with surprise evident in my face.

‘’Why are you so surprised? Your voice is angelic. I can’t believe you’ve never had any vocal training and no one has heard you sing,’’ he says sincerely while wiping away a tear.

‘’Well you heard me,’’ I said while smiling.

‘’That’s not enough. Keeping a voice like that away from the world… It should be a sin. I want the whole world to hear you sing.’’

‘’I wouldn’t go that far, it’s impossible.’’

‘’I can make it possible,’’ he says while grabbing my hands. I shake my head left to right. ‘’Why not?’’

I look down to the ground and mutter the 4 words I have grown to hear: ‘’I’m not good enough.’’

(A/N Don't forget to vote!)