You're My Destiny - discontinued

Chapter 23

Its Tuesday today, 6 days since I sang for Jenny and we have been growing even closer ever since. Even though we have finished school, we still see each other all the time. Since graduation, I have been going to her house every day to study for and let me tell you, I'm ready to kick exams in the butt. I have been studying extra hard and preparing myself purposely so that I could have a little time off today. I look at the clock hanging on Jenny's wall and it's currently three in the afternoon.

"Hey Jenny," I nudge her and she moves her focus from her textbook to me. We are both lying down on the ground studying. We both study much better on the floor; don't ask me why because I have no clue. ''I think I'm going to take off early today," I say which seems to puzzle her since I usually leave around 6pm.

"Why so soon?"

"I think I'm prepared for the English exam tomorrow and I have to do some things," I say biting my lip and hoping she won't ask me to elaborate any further, while packing up my books and stuffing it into my bag.

"Oh okay then, I'll see you tomorrow at school. I'll meet you outside the examination room at nine."

I nod as I leave her room. I let myself out, as I practically live at Jenny's house. I always find any excuse to come here to get away from the wrath that is Linda. Jenny's parents are always so welcoming; she has no idea how lucky she is.

I walk to the bus stop and put in my ear phones. Once I get on the bus, I pass Linda's house but stay put; deliberately of course. I finally reach the train station and hop off the bus. Shortly after, I catch the train only to get off 8 stops later. I walk to the nearest florist that I go every time I come here and buy the most beautiful bunch of roses wrapped in purple sheets.

I exit the florist and keep walking down the street until I reach my destination. I walk under the arches that have the sign, "Campbell Cemetery," and pace towards the small tomb near a beautiful, large oak tree. Once I reach her stone, I place the roses above where she lies and I sit in front of her stone that has, ''Rose Anderson, 29/10/1976 - 11/7/2010, Beloved wife and mother," engraved onto it. The thought of her not being here with me still hurts just as much as it did 3 years ago and I can already feel tears threatening to appear.

''Hi mum. How've you been? I have missed you so much and hope you're having a great time wherever you are celebrating your birthday. I wish I could be there with you. I remember every year on your birthday it would be just you and me in the hotel room and we would always sing happy birthday together in perfect harmony. Before you blew out the candles you would say that you didn't need to grant any wishes because I'm all you ever needed. But I now I need you mum. I miss you more and more each day and I love you so much mum. I miss the way you would sing me to sleep, the way you always supported me, the way you could cheer me up no matter what, the way you smelled, the way you always had a beautiful smile to assure me everything was going to be okay. But now that you're gone I don't have any of those things. Now that you're gone it's so hard to trust people, to show myself to people, to let them in and to be happy... But I've been getting better; miraculously. Harry, for some odd reasons, he helped me - a smidge - to trust again and when I'm with him I feel happy, actually happy. But then that happiness subsides when I realise that this happy feeling will only be temporary. Mum, it's so hard. It's so hard because when I'm ever happy, I only get sad again because in the back of my mind I know that happiness is not permanent. I can't fully trust anyone because I'm afraid I will get hurt again. It hurt me so much when you left me mum, and I never want to feel that pain again. I never want to experience the pain of being left again by someone I care about; it hurts. It hurts so much mum.''

I have all these questions and thoughts in my head, I can literally feel it pounding against my skull and it's only about one thing. Harry. I like him. That's the only way to explain all these feelings I've never experienced before. Butterflies, tingles, fireworks, electricity; all just from being at a close proximity to him. I have all these feelings but I don't know what to do about it.