You're My Destiny - discontinued

Chapter 18

My vision is literally impaired from the tears but I keep running, not even certain if I am going in the right direction, all I know is that I need to get out of here. Without realising I bump into a hard surface.

''Ouch, since when did the wall get there?''

I hear a masculine laugh fill the hallways. Woah, did the wall just laugh? I sniff and rub the tears away from my eyes and the laughter ceases. I look up at the body and realise it's Liam.

''Beth, are you alright babe?'' Liam asks worriedly as he takes in my appearance.

''Yeah, I'm fine,'' I lie.

''Liar. Do you want to talk about it?'' I shake my head and look down to the ground.

"Are you sure? Maybe I can help," he says genuinely but I don't need his pity.

"It's nothing that concerns you," I snap.

"Okay then," he sighs, "do you happen to know where Harry is?''

I point towards the room that I just stormed out of without looking back.

''Thanks,'' he says before walking past me.

I continue with my journey and try to find any signs that will lead me to the backstage door again but there's no luck.

''Liam, wait!''

He turns back to face me, ''yeah?''

''Do you think you could show me the way out?'' I wasn't lying when I said I had the worst sense of direction.

''Of course,'' he walks beside me and starts to lead me to the way out.

''Sorry,'' I say while still looking at the ground.

''Why are you saying sorry?''

''I know your busy and have no time f-''

''Don't worry about it babe. I'm more than happy to save a damsel in distress.''

I smile at him and we continue to walk down the concrete hallways. The more the distance increase between me and Harry the more empty I feel. I should be pleased that I got out of that doomed friendship, one that would've ended with him leaving. So why do I feel as if I left a piece of my heart in that room? Who does he think he is, to just walk into my life and kiss me like that when he's going to leave in a couple hours?

''What's on your mind?'' Liam breaks the silence.

''I don't even know Liam. I'm so confused,'' I let out a big sigh.

''You can always talk to me if you want,'' he says while placing a hand on my shoulder but I flinch away. What is it with these British people and need to have physical contact?

''I don't even know you...'' I said matter-of-factly.

''But you can trust me.'' The way his eyes were so sincere and honest while saying that made me feel a lot more comfortable around him.

I try to tell him what's on my mind but every time I open my mouth nothing comes out. There are so many things swirling around my brain that I don't know how to start. Talking about my feelings is not something I'm used to and I'm so clueless on how to even begin.

''I would tell you but I don't know how.''

"What do you mean?''

''I'm not the type to talk about my feelings so it's kind of foreign to me and right now I have so much on my mind.''

''Tell me the first thing that comes to mind.''

''I think I might have... Why does he... Why do I feel... Ugh! I can't Liam! My head is pounding, I can't think straight.'' I was breathing heavily and tears were forming once again but I refuse to let them fall.

''Stop,'' he put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from walking. ''Breathe,'' he inhales and exhales while motioning for me to copy him. Once my breathing calms down he says, ''if you don't want to tell me that's fine but I think it would help you. It's not healthy to bottle things up, you need to vent things out.''

I really did need to get all this out. Not only am I lost in reality, I'm also lost in my mind. Everything was eating my up so maybe this 'talking' thing would help. I nod and try to discretely explain my situation.

''Okay, where do I start? So there's this guy that I recently met and became friends with. He's a really nice guy and when I'm with him I actually feel happy and comfortable. But I also felt too open and vulnerable, like he was chipping away at my brain and reading me like an open book. So I got scared and told him I didn't want to be friends anymore.''

There is more to that, so much more. I am also afraid because I know he will one day walk out of my life, so I decided to do it now rather than later. But after that kiss... Dammit, why did he have to kiss me? That kiss, that amazing kiss left me so bewildered but, I still left. It was either I left now, or he would've left me sooner or later. So I chose the first option.

''And now you're scared you made the wrong decision.''

''Why would you assume that?''I snap, even though he was partially right.

''Because you're worried about it. If you knew you made the right decision you wouldn't be so distraught right now.''

This is exactly why I always put my defences up. The second I put them down people can see the real me and that makes me feel vulnerable, because the real me is broken, weak and fragile. I don't need more people in my life seeing me this way; I don't need any more friends. More friends means that there are more people who will disappoint you, hurt you, and leave you. If I push away everyone away, no one will hurt me that way again, no one will abandon me again, because I won't let them come into my life.

''Liam, don't act like you know me. I have reasons for doing this and nothing can change what happened in my past. I don't know if what I did was the right thing to do but I know it was the easier and safer thing to do,'' I sigh.

''You can't always take the easy way out.''

Who is this kid? Dr. Phil?

''Just show me the way out,'' I snap.

He sighs in defeat and I am relieved. All this talking about feelings crap is annoying and weird. We reach the backstage door and I feel at ease. Once I cross the threshold of that door I will be able to go back to my life. My boring and lonely life, just the way I liked it.

We finally reach the door and Liam opens the door for me.

''I guess I'll see you the next time we're in Melbourne,'' he says casually but I shake my head. ''Why not - Oh... Oh I see. It's Harry isn't it?"His eyes widen as a wave of realisation hits him. I nod ever so slightly. ''Promise me one thing, just one thing since this may be the last time we ever see each other again.''

I nod and wait for him to say something. ''Don't bottle up all your emotions, deal with them.''

(A/N Don't forget to vote!)