You're My Destiny - discontinued

Chapter 36

As Harry and I enter the dressing room everyone politely says hello, where as Louis has a different approach.

"About time!" Louis exclaims loudly, as always.

He runs towards us, jumping onto Harry as if he hadn't seen him in a million years when in reality, they saw each other only yesterday. It's kind of adorable how close they are, but I don't know how they handle it. If I had to spend all of my time with the same people I think I would probably go nuts. I'm a very independent person, the reason being I am so vulnerable and I refuse to show that to anyone. So in my precious time alone, pretty much all I do it cry till I run out of energy to even do that. All I used to do was sitting in the corner of my bed, whimpering as the same voices clouded my mind every night. And although those voices still come and go now, they always seem to go away in time once I realise Harry is next to me. How does he do that? How does he magically relax me? Wizard I tell you, wizard.

"I missed you too Lou," Harry says in a high-pitched voice.

Once they got out of their long embrace, Louis turns to me. "Hey," he smiles widely. "Beth right?"

"That's me," I say with fake-confidence, as I always do in every social-situation, except for when I'm alone with Harry. I never have to pretend with Harry, everything comes naturally with him.

"It's great to see you again," he hugs me, and I hug back awkwardly which was apparent to Harry when I hear him stifle a low chuckle. After I quickly get out of the unwanted physical contact, Louis tugs on Harry's shirt roughly before saying, "do you mind if I steal Harold away for a bit?"

"Actually - " Harry says , but I quickly interrupt him.

"Not at all, go ahead," I say abruptly, needing time to reflect on what had just happened.

"Let's go boys!" Louis yells to the rest of the boys, who shoot their head up quickly at Louis' loud voice. They all follow his command and head out the door.

Harry turns back to face me but Louis grasps his ear, making Harry wince. "I'll be right back after sound check, alright?" He whimpers in pain. I give him a small nod just before Louis pulls the curly-headed boy out the doorframe by his earlobe and I hear his voice say, "ow, ow, ow, ow," repeatedly as his voice trails into the distance down the hall.

I turn back around and glance at where everyone else seems to be conversing. There are only a couple people left, since the boys and the band have left for sound check. I recognise Lou, Caroline and Helene, but I don't have the courage to actually walk up to them as usual. I walk to where there is no one in a three metre radius. I sit on the armchair, in the corner of the room where I always feel most comfortable. I close my eyes, and look back at what just happened. I did it; I actually went into a car without vomiting, fainting or anything major like that. Yes, it was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I actually did it. I feel a wave of accomplishment crash over my soul and negative energy escaping my body as if it were evaporating from my skin.

Even though I thought I was permanently broken, bruised, beaten, maybe I was wrong. Maybe I could be fixed. After getting over an obstacle I thought I would never be able to face, I feel as if two pieces - out of the million tiny pieces of my heart - are being mended back together. With every day I continue to spend with Harry I feel more at ease with life, free and most importantly, happy. Was it because of him that I miraculously built up the courage to face one of my biggest phobias? I never thought I would step foot into a car, but Harry makes me feel safe and in the short month that I've known him, I have put more trust in him than I do in myself.

Could he be the one to save me from the black hole I have been trapped in my whole life? Maybe he could be my sanity, my peace, my hero. But the crazy thing; he already is. He is the light in my darkness, and speaks to me when I convince myself I don't want to talk. He listens and genuinely cares, and that's all I've ever wanted. But do I have the strength to let him in? I want nothing more than to tell him everything about me, what happened to make me this way, but I'm afraid. I'm terrified that once he finds out about my dark side, he won't want anything to do with me. The places I have been are not pretty, and if I show it to him I'm scared that he will run away. And I don't want that to happen. As much as in pains me to say this, I need him.