You're My Destiny - discontinued

Chapter 52

Two months ago if someone had told me that I would be standing in the arms of Harry Styles, or anyone really, completely pouring my heart out to him, I would call them crazy. Yet here I am. In his warm, strong arms where I feel most safe. The idea of having someone to rely on never appealed to me. I believed that you should only rely on yourself, because eventually people will either leave or stop caring.

But then Harry came into my life, giving me a taste of what having someone by your sides feels like. And now that I know how fulfilling it is to have someone that genuinely cares, I can’t lose it. I’m sick of the feeling of having everything bottled up, building up over the years. It has created a big glass tower that I hid behind for years. And now that I am out of the glass, and have let my walls down, I find myself constantly breaking down.

 Although I know that releasing all negativity will be good for me, I still I hate crying in front of people. I hate complaining about my problems. It makes me look weak and I hate that.

 But after singing that song that reminded me of my dad, and all the things that he did, the tears flowed down my face uncontrollably. Because of my dad I have been afraid for so long. Afraid to cry because that’s weakness, afraid to trust and afraid to live my life. I can’t let him hold me back from living my life anymore.

 “I’m sorry,” my voice breaks. “I’m always crying. I’ll stop now.” I sniffle and wipe my tears. “You just came back and I’ve already ruined it,” I chuckle.

 “Beth, you haven’t ruined anything. Please don’t apologize for having feelings.” He wipes away a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. “You don’t have to swallow your emotions. You don’t have to hide how you feel or ignore the pain.”

His words are so soft, and so different to what I’m used to hearing. Here Harry is telling me that it’s okay to break down sometimes, whereas my dad always told me I was pathetic and weak for crying – even when I was mourning over my mother’s death.

“I know that you don’t like to cry, but with me you don’t have to be afraid. I will never judge you, you know that right?” He tips my chin up to look at him, making me look at him in the green eyes I have come to love.

“I do, Harry,” I say with no uncertainty in my voice. I truly do believe that Harry is the one person I can rely on, the only person I will ever trust.

 “Good,” he smiles and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

 All of my doubt is gone when I feel his lips softly kiss my forehead, the tip of my nose and then lightly brushes my lips. It’s not enough and I find myself wanting more. I can never have enough of Harry; he is like a drug to my insanity.

“Let’s go,” Harry tells me before picking up my bag and sliding it over his broad shoulders. “What do you have in here? Rocks?” He grumbles at the weight of it.

 He grabs my hand and laces my fingers through his.

 “Books mostly. And my phone and iPod of course.”

 We walk out the auditorium that was once my getaway, my sanctuary. And now that my school days are over, I have nowhere to hide. I take one last glance at my second home until it is not in my view.

 “Why don’t you just put music onto your phone, wouldn’t it be easier that way?” I stare up at him and admire his side profile. He’s absolutely beautiful.