You're My Destiny - discontinued

Chapter 33

Beth's POV

Harry looks into my eyes, our heads now on the same level. I forget about all the things my brain was telling me - he's just going to leave you like everyone else, leave before he has the chance to, he's just going to hurt you, he doesn't care about you, you're not good enough - and enjoyed his minty fresh lips. Even though I have a million reasons to leave him, I still stay because of that one reason. He makes me happy; it's as simple as that. I realise what just took place, before pulling away and resting my forehead against his. He smiles and the green eyes that were already beautiful became even more mesmerising.

After a comfortable silence, Harry opens his slightly swollen lips to speak. "Which one are you choosing?" He asks. Our foreheads still pressed together, my arms still wrapped around him and his hands gently moving up and down on my thighs resting on each side of his body.

"What?"

"Which are you going to listen to, your brain or your heart?" He questions, desperation apparent in his tone.

Everything seems to be perfect, but there's only so high you can get before you fall down and hit the cement ground. As of right now, I'm purposely holding back so many feelings because I know I can't let myself get too attached. I really don't care about a lot of things, but when I do care, I care too much, and I'm afraid Harry will soon become one of those things. At this time, everything seems picture perfect, and I feel at ease in Harry's arms, I feel happy. But every time I'm happy, something goes wrong and it kills me softly inside.

Despite all these things my brain is telling me, I ignore all common sense and rational thinking and let my emotions override my mind. I grip Harry's hand in mine, and bring it up to my pounding chest just above the hem on my jumper. I ignore the stinging sensation, as his hands touch the scratches I had previously brought upon myself, so that he would be able to feel how much he affects me. I have no doubt he would be able to feel the hammering beat of my heart.

"How could I possible ignore that?" I ask and he gulps. "Does that answer your question?" I say, hoping he would get the picture, he's very slow.

"Yes," he says breathily before leaning in and stealing a small peck. He grins as wide as the sky while he removes his hand from my chest. I bring my hand down to place it beside me, but Harry seems to have different plans. He takes my wrist, spreads my fingers into a palm before placing it flat on his hard, warm chest.

My eyes open wide in shock at how heavy and fast his heart was beating, almost like a railway train going faster and faster. "Woah," Harry chuckles at my astonishment.

We stay in that position for a while before a goofy smile grows on Harry's face. "Do you want to see something special?" He says excitedly.

I raise my eyebrows sceptically before bringing my hands from his pounding chest to his broad shoulders to balance myself. "What is it?" I ask curiously.

"Let me go get it, wait here." He lifts me off his lap by my waist with no sign of struggle and onto the couch once again. His feet pads out of the room and leaves me alone with my dangerous thoughts.

Whenever I'm with Harry I become a thousand times more vulnerable, I become myself, because he persistently chips at my glass barrier. But with him, I don't mind looking weak because I know he won't judge me, use it against me or get scared away. He is the only person I am willing to open up to, and even though it's hard, I am trying. Before he came into my life I didn't know where I belonged in this world. And even though there were people crowding me, I always felt alone and they merely just in the space where I breathe. I tried pushing him away by leaving him, but that only backfired. I regretted pushing him away every second of the day and now that he's back I will give it my all to not do that anymore. I won't make the same mistake again because I know that it will just cause my heart misery, and I already have enough of that. I've learnt the hard way to hold on to those who make you happy. When I say it like that it makes life sound so easy, but no, nothing in life is easy. No matter how happy I am, I will always remember the bad and it's so hard to let go to those who bring you down. It's so hard to be happy when I keep hearing my dad's voice constantly reminding me 'you're not good enough,' even though I haven't had any contact with him for over three years.