You're My Destiny - discontinued

Chapter 21

Harry's POV

We finally finish ‘’Live While We’re Young,’’ the last song of the night, and our last performance in Brisbane. The crowd is still going wild and screaming loudly as we all run off stage. Tonight’s show was crazy and the crowd was amazing as usual. The adrenaline pumping in my veins is still in effect as I practically run towards the dressing room for no particular reason. I get into the dressing room and collapse onto the couch. My breathing is rapid and I stare at the ceiling. I still can’t believe this is my life now. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have this job; if you would even call it a job. I’m practically getting paid to live my dream every day.

Shortly after, the rest of the band burst into the room and jump on top of me.

‘’Get off me you fatties! I can’t breathe.’’

They are all so sweaty, well I am too, and it doesn’t smell particularly pleasant in this room. After suffocating underneath their stench, they finally get off and we all take bus back to the airport. We only have four more shows in Sydney until we go back to Melbourne. The thought of going back to Melbourne makes me both excited and anxious. We will be back in 6 days and I find myself counting down the days to the Melbourne shows because I know I will see Beth. Even though she told me she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore doesn’t mean I was going to listen to her. We have this undeniable connection and I am not going to throw that away. I haven’t felt this way about a girl in a really long time and the feeling is almost foreign to me now. But then she stumbles into my life and changes everything. She is so different; she never tried anything on me and basically rejected me every time I tried to get closer. But those few times when she didn’t jerk away from my touch sent shockwaves all through my body. The fact the she doesn’t want to be with me makes her so much more interesting and leaves me dumbfounded. What is so terrible about me that’s she couldn’t even be friends? And then she goes and tells Liam that she doesn’t know if she made the right decision, even though she seemed pretty sure of it in our little chat. She sure is a mystery, a mystery that I will be glad to solve.

I am now on the plane to Sydney and am currently trying to figure out how I will see Beth again. The only thing I know is what school she goes to, but after the intense lecture from Paul I don’t think I’ll be able to go back again to see her. He said if I keep risking the chance of being seen he would force me to devour a whole packet of toothpicks. That man sure is scary, but that what makes him so great at his job and he really does care about all us boys.

I have no hope in seeing her again, unless she comes to me which will never happen. The idea of not seeing her anymore aggravates me and I know that it will be hard. I have no game plan. We are always on lockdown in Melbourne and Paul nearly had my balls when I snuck off the other day. I could always try again though, she is worth it.

Beth’s POV

It’s been a week since my last encounter with Harry and it’s been getting easier, but not by much. I still think about it all the time, doubting wether it was the truthful thing to do. Harry has never done anything wrong; he is always so sweet to me. What I did was purely my own decision based on my reasons but now I don’t know if I made the correct decision anymore.

School has been helping to get my mind off Harry. This is my last day of school ever, before I graduate and I’m so miserable. After this I won’t be going Uni and I have to stay with Linda until I turn 18 which means 101 days of pure agony. I don’t know if I will be able to survive so many consecutive days in that house; I would so much rather be at school. Exams are also coming up soon and I am really trying hard to get good result. Even though that result is irrelevant to me since I’m not going University, I still want to at least achieve something in my life. I need to know that I can at least to this, that I am not hopeless and that I am not a failure.

‘’Beth? Did you hear me?’’ Jenny snaps be back to reality. I totally forgot that she was even sitting right in front of me. I’ve been so distracted lately and I couldn’t focus on anything.

‘’Huh? Oh I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. What did you say?’’ I say cluelessly.

‘’What’s up with you Beth? You’ve been so out of it this past week and it’s not like you at all.”

“It’s nothing, I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Care to venture some of your thoughts?’’ I bite my lip, too afraid to explain the event out loud. ‘’You know you can tell me anything Beth. This is clearly bothering you and I just want to help you.”

I let out a big breath, “A week ago I told Harry that I didn’t want to be friends and he didn’t take it really well.”

“Well that’s what you wanted right?”

“Yeah… but…’’

‘’But now you regret it.’’

How can people tell so easily? First Liam and now Jenny. I am losing my touch.

“How could you tell?” I question.

‘’Beth honey, I have known you for 3 years and I have never seen you so down before. He obviously means something to you.”

I groan loudly and rub my face with my hands. “Why though? Why does he affect me so much? It’s usually so easy for me to push people away; what separates him from everyone else?”

I have so many unanswered questions, but I’m afraid of the real answer.

‘’I know why,” I arch my eyebrow at Jenny. “You like him! It’s so obvious,” she says with a cheeky grin. She thinks this situation is so simple and uncomplicated.

I shake my head, “No, I don’t. I can’t.”

“Why not? You said he took it badly when you said you didn’t want to be friends which means that so has feelings for you too. I don’t get why you can’t like him; you guys seem really compatible.”

Detective Jenny seems to have missed out on one point. The first time I have ever admitted my feelings for a guy I ended up with a broken heart. I finally started to let people in again but then Drew ruined it for me. My past has taught me to never get too attached to someone, because attachments lead to expectations and expectations lead to disappointments.

“Even if I did like him – which I don’t – what would happen then? And even if he liked me back – which he doesn’t – how could we even be together? He’s Harry Styles, he wouldn’t have time for a girlfriend. If we got together I would’ve grown too attached to him and gotten disappointed every time he would leave due to his career. I don’t need people I care for leaving me again.”

“Again?”

Shit. I am being so careless with my words; I’m starting to actually open up to people and it’s all Harry’s fault. He ruined my barriers.

“Ugh just leave it, I just want to forget about him,” I say while rolling my eyes.

“It’s been a week and you still haven’t forgotten about him. The Beth I know doesn’t have this hard a time ignoring people. He’s obviously affected you majorly for this to happen. You forgot all about Drew in a day but you still haven’t let go of Harry over a week. Doesn’t this prove something to you? That he means something to you?’’

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. I can’t do this talking thing, but I remember back to what Liam told me.

’Don’t bottle up all your emotions, deal with them.’

There was only way I knew how to deal with all my emotions and that was through music. I get up from where I was sitting and ignore Jen’s question.

‘’Jenny I have to go, I’ll see you in class,’’ I say while turning my back to her. I could feel the tears coming any second and I needed to release and deal with all these thoughts and the only way I could do that was sing.

“No Beth, you always do this. Whenever we start to actually talk about something serious you walk away and just disappear. Where do you always go?’’

Am I ready to let her into such an important part of my life?

“Come with me, I’ll show you.”

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