You're My Destiny - discontinued

Chapter 26

I feel the panic take over my mind and I clench my fingers around the arm of the chair. In a matter of minutes I'm going to be performing for thousands of people and I literally feel like I'm going to vomit. I feel the bile rise up my oesophagus and I gulp to force it back down. Harry notices that I tense up and he rubs my back gently.

"Are you okay?"

I shake my head from left right, "I'm so nervous Harry, and I feel like I could throw up any second."

"You have nothing to be afraid of Beth, you're incredible," he says while reaching for my hands and intertwining our fingers. The small gesture calms me immediately but also sends butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

"There's more to that Harry, I'm so scared," my breath starts to quicken.

"More to what? You can tell me Beth," he stares at me intently and I know I can trust him, with this.

Mum, I promised you I will be happy. And Harry is what makes me happy and I won't shut him out or push him away anymore.

"Singing is all I have. It's the only constant thing in my life. Singing is the only thing that I can rely on to always be there for me to help me through my obstacles in life. If I go out on that stage and get criticised for the only thing that gets me through every living day, I don't think I'll be able to take it anymore," I admit.

"Listen to me Beth," he holds my hand tighter. "You don't have to worry about that because when I say you are incredible, I mean it. It's unbelievable to think that you don't think you're good enough because you're more than that. You should be selling out arenas for your own concert and I have no doubt that it will happen soon because you belong there. I believe you can do this Beth, I believe in you."

His words strike my very soul and I have to hold back to tears. No one has ever supported me like Harry does.

"Thank you Harry, really thank you. You've done so much for me, more than you could ever imagine. I would've never been able to do this without you pushing me."

He smiles sweetly before pulling me into a warm embrace. "It's nothing love. I believe that you're talented enough to go really far, you just have to believe it yourself." I wish I could believe that, but it's so hard when all I know is that I will never amount to anything in life.

"I'm sorry Harry," I muffle into his chest. He breaks our hug and I feel his touch linger on my skin, sending tingles from head to toe but he still keeps our hands intact.

"Sorry for what?" He puzzles.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away. You're always so sweet to me and I was just scared." I admit and a wave of relief crashes over me.

"Scared of what?" He asks curiously.

A man comes into the dressing room, the same man from the other day. "Miss, you have to go to the stage now."

I get up from the make-up chair and try to wriggle my hands out of Harry's but he doesn't budge. "Scared of what Beth?" He stares attentively.

"Listen to the lyrics of the songs and you'll see," I whisper in into his ear breathily before walking away while he just stands in the same position like a statue and I swear, before I walk out of the room I see him shiver.

I get to the side of the stage and these people connect random stuff to my clothing and this man practically forces me to put in earplugs. I can hear the crowd screaming for 5 Seconds of Summer and I get even more nervous. They are all expecting them and when I come out on stage they're all going to be disappointed. I'm starting to get all sweaty, my hands are getting shaky, my heart is beating out of my chest, my breathing is erratic and the whole world is spinning. Oh god, please, please not now. This is not the right time have a panic attack.

"Beth!" Harry comes running towards me. Seeing his beautiful green eyes instantly helps me compose myself, but not by much.

"Harry I'm nervous, I can't - I can't breathe," I pant and he pulls me into his hold, wrapping me with his strong arms.

"Being nervous isn't bad. It just means something important is happening," he says while stroking my hair softly. "You're going to be fine Beth."

It astonishes me that he is able to calm my apprehension. Usually I would just hug myself in the corner of my room, clenching my knees up to my chest and rocking back and forth until the anxiety subsides.

"Beth, you're on now. Go, go, go!" The man drags me towards the stage.

"I'm going to be standing right here behind the curtain the whole time. Just look over here if you're worried. Good luck out there love!" Harry informs while I walk towards the screams.

The crowd is chanting '5SOS' as I am guided onto the stage by an unknown person. The fact that the stage is pitch black just adds to my already overwhelming nervousness. I feel as if I'm sweating litres off my body weight and I feel weaker as seconds pass.

The lights hit my face and at first I hear cheering from the crowd but that is quickly taken over by booing and disappointed groans once they realise I'm not what they were expecting. I can hear mean comments like 'who is she?', 'we want 5SOS, not her' from the audience and I can feel the tears coming. I'm not enough for them; I'm pathetic.

Before the tears start falling I look back at where Harry said he would be standing, hoping to collect myself but he's not there and I start to panic. I turn back; ready to run off stage in mortification but I suddenly hear loud cheers and screams. I look for the source of the crowd's sudden explosion and my eyes find the back of Harry. I admire the way his muscles tense as he lifts his arm up to wave at the audience and I find myself instantly relaxing.

Harry turns back to face me and his eyes immediately lock with mine, giving me a reassuring gaze. He smiles encouragingly at me while stretching out his hand for me. I walk back to where I was previously, but this time with Harry by my side.

He whispers into my ear, "I know you can do this Beth. Look out to the audience... This is your dream, am I right?" I nod, finally admitting to him that this is, in fact, what I've wanted my whole life. "Then don't let anyone discourage you. Sing your heart out and prove them wrong."

I look out to the disappointed faces out in the crowd and the words you're not good enough keep replaying in my mind but I can't show weakness in front of so many people, no matter how broken my soul is.

Soon a beautiful thick British accent echoes through the arena. "Hello everyone! I know you were all expecting 5 Seconds of Summer tonight but they are really sick now, but this lovely lady over here is generous enough to give up some of her precious time to perform for you all tonight. This is her first time performing ever, but I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Everyone, give it up for Beth Anderson!" Harry says enthusiastically which causes people to cheer as well. The way Harry influences so many lives never ceases to amaze me and I can't help but want that too.

Harry turns back to me and places his warm hands on my shoulders while whispering into my ear, "Relax, it's your time to shine. I'm going to be right behind the curtain the whole time listening and waiting. Knock their socks off!" He encourages before walking behind the curtain.

Looking out to the now applauding audience puts a smile on my face and pushes me to walk towards the microphone stand.

(A/N Don't forget to vote!)