Make Me Wanna Die | leafyishere

"Are You Okay Miss...?"

I call an uber to drive me back home. Josh offered, but I declined. I didn't want to cry in front of anyone that I will see again.

I sat in the back seat, watching the streets pass. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

This is wrong. I shouldn't cry. I don't deserve to feel bad about this.

I let out a quiet sniffle.

"Are you okay miss?" The driver asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks" I said, wiping the drips off my cheek.

We finally pulled up to my apartment building. I fixed myself, even though I didn't care if anyone saw at this point.

I thanked the driver and ran to my house. I locked myself in my room and cried.

I felt so horrible. I didn't mean to make Calvin pissed, and I didn't mean for things to turn out the way they did.

I honestly felt like shit. I bet Josh's girlfriend would have never done that to him.

She wouldn't, because unlike me, she was a good girlfriend...

Is this what love is? I've never felt shitty because of a relationship before. None of my boyfriends have ever made me question if I was good enough. Maybe I just didn't give a shit about them.

But with Calvin I did. I cared about him so fucking much. And knowing that I hurt his feelings, or made him in any way question my feelings towards him, made me feel...awful.

I buried my face into my pillow, and let it out. I cried until I couldn't anymore. I felt like throwing up, chocking on my own spit.

I went to the bathroom I almost screamed at the person I saw in the mirror. She was a mess. With make up all over, her hair resembling a tumbleweed

I hate myself. He makes me hate myself. I want to die. He makes me want to die...

(So I feel like this story is getting crappier with each chapter.

Poor Easton though :(

But I posted a little sneak peak of my Luna fanfic. It's called "Schizoaffective"

I'm not going to start it until after this one, but I hope you guys will check it out and like it

If any of you read my Michael Clifford fanfiction or my original story, I decided to put both on hold. I just don't know where to take them right now, but when I do I'll start updating them.

Thanks so much loves

Nat xx)