Make Me Wanna Die | leafyishere

Is This Really How Love Is Supposed To Feel...?

I laid on the floor. Numb. Empty bottles laid around me.

Rum. Whiskey. Vodka.

Anything I could get my hands on. And I just laid there. Thinking.

Is this really how love is supposed to feel?

Am I supposed to be sprawled on the hardwood, crying my eyes out because the boy that I thought cared about me didn't even try to act like it?

Am I supposed to wake up, hating myself more each day because he decides he's not in the mood for talking?

Am I supposed to think about silting my wrists?

All this because of a boy. I always thought that wanting to die because of a guy was sorta dumb, but now that I know how it feels...I completely understand.

If a person who you truly adore treats you like you're just a toy that he plays with only when he's in the mood, how can you be blamed for despising yourself?

I run my fingers over the black carpet. I always thought I was a happy person. I never went along with bullshit. I knew how to block out people who talked shit.

But when it comes to feelings, that's another story.

I've been rejected before. I've been dumped. But none of those things compare to the empty, hollow feeling that's growing in my chest right now.

Maybe searching up depressing love quotes on tumblr wasn't the best idea.

Because I'm starting to question my relationship with Calvin, if you can even call it that.

Is this really all my fault?

I close my eyes, and drift off to sleep.

Maybe in my dreams things will work out the way I want them to...

(This is the final chapter for tonight.

I'm aware that I basically spammed you

But my power went out and I had nothing better to do

So I decided to write.

And I just hope you guys know that I really appreciate the comments.

It might sound cliche but the things you guys say does make a difference in my day.

When people say I'm one of their favorite authors, or favorite stories, or that they look up to me

Even the votes I get make me feel really happy

Thank you guys so much :)

Nat xx)