Make Me Wanna Die | leafyishere

"I Think We Should Break Up..."

(Hi, if you want to,  listen to this song while reading....

I would recommend if you did

It's not 100% going along with the story, but in my opinion it's a good song)

I flew into Vegas, knowing that the mature way to do this is to break up with him in person. Texting him wasn't an option, no matter how much easier that would make things. My hands shook the entire flight because if I really had another choice, I wouldn't be doing it. But sometimes you need to sacrifice things, so in the end, you're happy. 

I stepped off the flight and that was the moment that reality kicked in. I'm really doing this. I'm going to break up with Calvin...

Just thinking about not being able to call him, hug him or kiss him makes my heart throb. He's not only my boyfriend, he's my best friend. He's a person that I thought I could talk to about anything...but apparently not.

And what hurts the most, is knowing that when I go through with this, he'll be out of my life forever. There will be no more public twitter conversations or private Skype calls. No group chats with all of the guys discussing new video ideas or making fun of preteen celebrities.

But this pain will pass. It'll disappear sooner or later, but unfortunately the pain caused by this relationship won't.

I'll never go back to those careless and fun relationships because this one showed me that they don't exist. 

----

I pull up to the hotel that Calvin was staying at. The sad part is that i had to get this simple information from Niall, because I was not aware of where my boyfriend actually was.

I walked through the lobby, taking small steps so I will be able to call myself Calvin's girlfriend for as long as I can. The man working the front desk looks at me and sends me a smile.

"Hi, how can I help you?" he asks me, as I approached him.

"I was wondering if you could call Calvin Vail, and tell him that his girlfriend is here to see him" I replied, tapping my fingernails on the wood, trying to calm down my anxiety.

"Sure thing" he turned away, calling what I guess was Cal's hotel room. I looked around, observing my surroundings before the receptionist called for my attention and informed me that my boyfriend was on his way. 

I sat in an armchair and waited until I saw a familiar messy brown mop.

"Hey babe, what are you doing here...?" he asked, slightly confused.

"We need to talk" I stood up, making my way towards him.

"I was about to go out with the gu-"

"It's important"

He nodded and led me to his hotel room, where we would get at least some privacy. 

"So, what did you want to talk about?" he asked, sitting on his bed, patting the place beside him.

I walked past him and sat on the little table across from his bed. He frowned and looked at me, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know how to say it..." I started but I choked up, trying to hold back my tears.

The confusion on his face turned to worry and I could tell that he was expecting the worse. 

"Are you sick....?" he asked, his voice starting to shake.

I shook my head and looked away as tears began to stream down my cheeks. He got up, pulling me to sit on his lap and wiped my tears.

"Please don't do that...this is making things way harder that it already is" I sniffled and moved over.

He watched me, his facial expression said everything. He knew what was about to happen.

"I think...I t-t-think that we should....break up" I said, wiping my cheeks.

"East, baby....I don't understand. Why? We don't need to do this...." he swallowed hard. 

"Yes we do Calvin, what we're doing isn't good for me. This is a toxic relationship..." 

He opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. I've never seen this side of Calvin. The side where he actually shows his emotions. Where you can tell he's only seconds from breaking down. And knowing that I did this...I couldn't stand myself right now. 

"Please don't do this....." he said quietly.

"You don't understand Calvin. I sit at home, with the feeling that you don't want to see me. You keep saying that we should take breaks from calling and facetiming. And then you take another girl to Vegas. You didn't even tell me you were going...and I just can't handle that...." I stared at my lap because i could no longer  face him.

"I'm sorry" is all he said. 

"You make me wanna die..." i mumbled quietly.

And that's when it happened. He broke down crying, sobbing. This isn't something that I expected from him, ever. I stood up, placing one final kiss on his lips.

I think of all of the memories we made together, and my eyes began to produce more and more tears. I don't know if we would ever get back together, but I hoped that one day we can be friends again.

I grabbed my bag and walked out of the hotel room. I could hear him crying my name but I didn't turn around. Not only did I walk out on him, I walked out on us. 

(And that was the final chapter....crappy I know.

This makes my heart hurt.

But I guess not all stories have happy endings.

I don't know if I'll ever write a sequel to this story.

It all depends if you want it. 

If you guys want them to get back together or not.

And if you guys are interested I'm starting my Luna fanfic soon

So you guys can check it out

Bye for now loves

Nat xx)