One True Bond (COMPLETE)

Kajol

I didn't expect to feel like this. I didn't expect to just forget the principle and let my emotions out. Tanishaa once joked that I was adopted because I hated showing emotion. She then joked that the only reason I was good at acting is because I stored up all my emotion in reality and let it out on screen. I responded with 'it's the principle' which she didn't understand. It's the principle that if you say one thing, like I hate you, then you are not going to turn around and tell the person you love them. It's the same with Shah Rukh. The principle was to resist him, to show him it is wrong to cheat and that what we did should be punished so we were not going to see each other again. I have broken that principle. No I have destroyed that principle. As I lie next to his sleeping body I realise that maybe principles are not important. But they mould my life, make me who I am. I wipe a stray hair from his face. God he looks so handsome. I could have resisted him if I had really tried. I could have said no to lunch but instead I just said okay. I didn't expect to spend the whole afternoon talking, just talking. Ask me what we were talking about and I can't tell you. I was just so absorbed in being with Shah Rukh that when he kissed me the second time when he said he was leaving I couldn't let him go. So now I'm lying next to him in bed watching his chest rise and fall in the rhythm of sleep. I could have stopped myself from unbuttoning his shirt. Stopped myself from tearing it off his body. I could have stopped him pulling my t-shirt over my head. Stopped him from caressing my spine. I could have stopped him pushing me towards the bedroom. Stopped him from pushing me onto the bed. I could have stopped myself from telling him 'I love you' and letting him sleep with me. I could have but I didn't. A month is a long time to realise things and I had realised I love Shah Rukh. I may hate him for what he did but that didn't and doesn't change the fact that I'd die for him because I love him.
"You regretting it?" I didn't even realise he had woken up. Shah Rukh stares at me, his eyes soft with sleep. I shake my head. Of course I don't regret it.
"Do you?" I ask touching his cheek with my hand. He smiles and places his hand on top of mine.
"No," he whispers moving closer to me, "it feels perfect." He removes his hand from mine and places his arm across me, his hand on my back. He feels warm and secure. He feels like home. I kiss him.
"I love you," I say it again. I want him to know. I want him to know it's the truth.
"I've always loved you," he whispers back smiling.
"Always?" I joke, "when did you realise?"
"Kuch Kuch Hota Hai." He answers straight away. "I signed 'I love you' and when I looked into your eyes I truly believed it. You?"
"Kuch Kuch Hota Hai," I smile, "when we danced in the rain was when I first felt something for you. Then we filmed the scene where Rahul and Anjali meet after eight years and that's when I realised that I felt more for you than just friendship. In those few minutes of silent handshakes it sealed a lot for me." Then I had gone home to Ajay and shelved those emotions, pretended they weren't real just like I had tried to do with Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham. Only now Shah Rukh is divorced with a pregnant wife and I'm stuck in a battle to get Ajay to agree to anything. How things change, huh?