One True Bond (COMPLETE)

Daddy?

Things don't feel right. They had felt right but now they don't and I don't know what to do to make them right again.
"You okay?" Shah Rukh waves his hand in front of my face with a huge grin plastered on his face. I nod my head trying to smile.
"I'm good," I say taking a bowl of cereal over to Aryan who's sat on the sofa watching cartoons.
"How's Jellyfish?" Shah Rukh follows me. How is Jellyfish? If I'm totally honest I have no idea how our baby is. It was about two weeks after the scan when the baby started doing aerobics in the morning causing me to throw up the content of the meal from the night before. Everyone said it was a good sign-the baby is strong and healthy. It had just become part of the morning routine. Shah Rukh would get up early use the bathroom and ten minutes after he was done I'd throw up. It was under control. It was sorta nice. Shah Rukh enjoyed resting his hand on my ever growing stomach and feeling it's little hands and feet kick against the confines of my womb. Recently though. Well recently things have changed. No more morning aerobics, no more morning sickness, no more normal routine.
"They are fine," I say moving before Shah Rukh can envelope me in a hug so he could feel my belly. Not only has Jellyfish-our baby just like in the dream-changed but so have I. Shah Rukh worries I've got another brain tumour but I know what's wrong with me. I'm scared because I don't know why everything's different, why Jellyfish isn't part of my routine anymore. I'm scared to tell him though. Shah Rukh worries so much about me and the baby and I couldn't worry him anymore.
"Kajol?" Shit I had zoned out.
"Haan?" I ask walking back towards the kitchen.
"I asked if you've booked an appointment for your next scan?" Shah Rukh furrows his eyebrows. God he's not gonna ask whether I have a brain tumour again isn't he?
"Yes," I lie putting some cups into a cupboard.
"When is it?" Shah Rukh perks up a little at this. It had already been one month since my first scan when we were so happy, so excited, so ready to become parents.
"Um I dunno I can't remember," I only said yes to get him off my back.
"Well I can ask Karan to rearrange some of these interviews so I can make it if it's on one of those day?" Shah Rukh blabbers on and it begins to annoy me like a fly persistently flying around your head making a buzzing noise. He continues to speak the words becoming a drone of endless noise and I try to breathe through it until I can't take anymore.
"Shut up," I shout dropping a plate and watching as it smashes on the floor. That's when I realise there is no sound in the apartment other than my words echoing. No children's cartoon, no drone of noise, no running tap, nothing. I look up to see Aryan holding back tears and Shah Rukh staring at me concern and confusion in his eyes. I rub my forehead before running towards the door, grabbing a bag slipping on a pair of shoes and leaving with my name being called after me by Shah Rukh.

********************

I knock on the door until my knuckles begin to sting and I feel tears prick the back of my eyes. What is wrong with me?!
"Kajol?" My dad opens the door.
"Is mum in?" I ask looking behind him into the house.
"No she's gone out with Tanishaa, is everything okay?" My dad replies putting his hand on my shoulder. Then I do what I promised myself I wouldn't do in front of my dad. My faces crumples and before I know it tears are flooding out of my eyes, snot is running out of my nose and my words are dripping in saliva. I wonder what a Bollywood director would think if they actually saw someone hurting and miserable because it definitely isn't pretty. I'm having a breakdown in front of my dad! He pulls me towards him and wraps me in his arms and the familiar smell of my childhood comes flooding back. Whenever I was upset my dad would always be there and my mum would always be patting my back telling me everything was okay, but right now I don't know if everything's okay. My dad guides me to the living room and I collapse onto a sofa still wrapped in his arms.
"It's the baby!" I wail unable to breathe properly.
"Shhhh," my dad strokes my hair as I cry into his shirt. When I feel able to talk I wipe my face with my hand and it comes away soaking.
"Daddy it's not moved for weeks," I sob. My dad looks at me his eyebrows furrowed from sadness and concern. Nobody wants to see their daughter like this.
"What do you mean it's not moved?" My dad asks calmly placing his hands on my shoulders.
"It's not kicked for weeks, I've stopped having morning sickness and it just doesn't feel right," I feel a fresh wave of tears about to hit the shore.
"You did that all the time with your mother, scared us something chronic," my dad smiles, "iced water always used to wake you up." With that my dad gets off the sofa and goes into the kitchen. He comes back with a pint glass of ice and water and hands it to me. I gulp it down praying for a sign, any sign, but nothing happens.
"What did Shah Rukh say when you told him?" My dad watches me as I place the empty glass on the table beside me.
"I haven't told him," I admit, "I haven't even booked a scan daddy." I feel like a child. A lost lonely child. Daddy always makes things better, daddy always knows what to do.
"Come on let's go to the hospital and get checked out," my dad stands up and offers me his hand, "they'll say everything's fine but just to get your mind at rest." I put my hand in his. Nothing can go wrong with daddy, nothing at all...

********************

"Daddy," my voice is shaky. I look at my father who is staring at the doctor his eyes pleading.
"I just need to get a colleagues opinion," the doctor smiles weakly before leaving the room.
"Daddy?" I question grabbing his hand in mine. He looks at me trying to hold tears in his eyes.
"I think we should call Shah Rukh," he says before passing me my phone. I take the phone in my shaking hand and stare at it.
"Daddy," I plead tears falling down my cheek, "daddy just make everything okay." That's when my fathers persona cracks and he has to leave the room leaving me alone. I glance at the phone again before unlocking it. 34 Missed Calls all from Shah Rukh. I dial his number and listen to the dial tone.
"Kajol?" Shah Rukh shouts down the phone.
"Shah Rukh," my voice breaks and I can no longer go on so I let the silence swallow me up.