"Kajol, please," Shah Rukh pleads, "please just hold him. He looks so peaceful." I turn my head away as a lone tear cascades down my cheek. I wipe it away furiously.
"Kajol?" My mum asks tentatively, "they say it helps to hold the baby, helps you to come to terms with everything." I feel anger building up inside me, feel harsh words trying to find their way to my mouth.
"Kajol." If anyone else says my name I might explode. I don't want to hold it. I don't want to come to terms with what has just happened. I had just spent two hours giving birth to a dead child who is now wrapped in cotton sheets in Shah Rukh's arms. This isn't how it should be. We should be at home watching a film with Aryan preparing for the release of Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham and laughing over baby names, not standing around a hospital room cradling a dead child.
"Kajol please you need to see him," Shah Rukh begs. Suddenly everything just comes cascading down on me. The hate, anger, sadness, the fantasy I'm trying to wrap myself in, the lie that everything is going to be okay.
"I don't want to hold it," I shout tears falling out of my eyes, "I don't want to see it, don't want to be near it. I don't want it." The room stands silent. My mum looks awkward at my outburst. Shah Rukh looks frustrated, holding the baby close to his chest. Then the frustration gives way to anger and he storms over to me thrusting the baby into my arms.
"Him,"He spits, "the baby is a he." Shah Rukh forces me to hold the child and I feel his weight on my forearms. I turn my face back to the window not wanting to look into the face of this child.
"Look at him," Shah Rukh grabs my head and forces me to look at the baby. His eyes are closed like he is sleeping, his nose is so small and his lips are pursed. He is tiny for a baby, so small and fragile. I can't believe I have just given birth to this fragile being who looks like they could be sleeping not dead. Shah Rukh removes his hands from my head and steps back shaking with rage. No tears fall from eyes as I look at my baby. I just can't believe this is happening.
"Kajol?" My mum steps forward and takes the baby from my arms. I finally let out the breathe I hadn't realised I was holding.
"I want to go home," I look at my mum who's holding the bundles of clothe, "I want to go home."
YOU ARE READING
One True Bond (COMPLETE)
FanfictionFilming a hit movie can be tough, but what happens when you fall for your co-star whilst both of you are still married? Torn between right and wrong, love and hate, fate and reality will Kajol and Shah Rukh Khan ever manage to be happy... Or will th...
