MY R.O.D

CHAPTER 47 - NOT MYSELF

"You okay?"

I looked at his direction who is already looking at me. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"B-but... Will Jiyong-ssi be fine with u--"

"He won't care anymore." I cut him off.

"Huh?"

I managed to put a smile on my face in front of him. "Just drive, Minho-ssi. We're having our time now. I don't want to think of unimportant things right now."

He immediately shut his mouth and just continued to drive to where we are off to.

Throughout the whole ride, all I did was to stare at the outside, watch everything pass us by so fast. Silence filled the car as no one dares to speak a word. I know Minho wants to but he decided to just keep it to himself because he knows that now is not the right time to get himself into the situation.

"We're here." He announced which cut off all of my thoughts.

I slowly unbuckled my seatbelt and turned the knob open.

"Chaerin-ah..." He called me even before I have the chance to step out of the car. "Hm?"

"You know... if you don't want to go, it's fine by me. You seems like you're not in the mood to. If you want, I can take you back ho---"

"Minho.. I told you I'm fine." I smiled at him. "See?! I'm fine. Let's go. I want to see what you got for us." I finally stepped out of the car and so does he and we both went inside an establishment.

"Good morning sir, ma'am. How can I help you?" A decent-looking woman which I assume is a staff here welcomed us.

"Uhm.. I have a reservation for two under Song Minho."

"Ah. Yes. It's already prepared for you sir.. Please follow me.* She gestured us to follow her and so we did.

She lead us to a room near by the end and opened the door for us. We both went inside and settled down our seats.

"You're foods will be delivered here in a few moments. Thank you and have a great time."

"Thank you " Minho said before the woman left us.

After a few minutes, our food came. Minho started digging in while I just poke the food in front of me.

"She just made a little mistake. It's not Youngbae you're cheating me with, it's with your ex. Guess your own words fits you better, huh."

His words keep repeating in my head. How can he think low of me like that? Does he even trust me? I know he's my boyfriend but I just can't just hangout with him all the time. I have other friends too, you know. He also have his but I'm not against it.

I know that Dara is one of his friends and also business partners, but I just wish he did keep his promise to me. He promised me he'll never talk nor get near her anymore but I think he can't kept onto that promise. I might understand it because he's working under her father's company and I might accept that he'll somewhat talk to her about business, but lying to me to meet her?! Pssh. That's unforgivable.

And now he's accusing me of cheating when he's the one who is cheating. That made me blow up and told him that we're over.

But each second that passes, I'm kinda regretting it. Regretting that I've said those hurtful words at him. Regretting that I broke up with him. It's just... anger ruled over me because of his choice of words that made me have that decision, but now that I've cool down, I regretted everything.

I miss him.

I want to go back in time where things were still peaceful and beautiful to the both of us. Where this chaos isn't still happening.

"Chaerin..."

If I apologize to him, will he accept it?

"Chaerin-ah..."

If he accepts it, will our lives be back the way it was before?

"Chaerin-ah....."

But... What if he doesn't? What will happen? I'll just make a fool out of myse---

"Lee Chaerin!!"

"Huh?! M-mwo? Why are you yelling at me?" I glared at Minho.

"I've been calling your name for minutes now and you just keeps on ignoring me. You are so in your thoughts that you just keep poking your food. Not even a bite was done."

"Huh?" I looked down to see what he means. I was also surprised to see that he's right, my food still looks like how it has been served here few moments before. "Oh.. Uhmm. S-sorry about that." Then I started eating.

I keep my head down while eating. I know that he's observing me but I just choose to ignore it.

"Chaerin-ah..."

"Hmm?" Lifting up my face

"You sure you're alright?" Worry is written on his face.

"Y-yes. I'm fine, Minho. Don't worry about me." Faking a smile at him.

"Seems not like it." Hey eyed me. He knows me too much not know that I'm lying.

I just heaved a deep sigh before continuing to eat.

"Chaerin.. you know you can tell me, right? I know there's something bothering you so you can share it to me. I might help you with that." He held me hand which was resting on the table.

I got surprised by his action and looked at his hand on top of mine. Realizing what he has done, he quickly removed it and placed it back on his lap. "Uhmm. Mian. I didn't mean to---"

"It's okay, Minho.. No harm done."

After finishing our food, Minho is considerate enough to take me back home even if we still have somewhere else to go, but seeing me in this state, he decided to just cancel it.

"Thanks for today, Minho. And sorry for ruining our plan." I bowed as I stepped out of his car.

"No worries, Chae. I know you're not feeling okay right now so it's best to just take you home."

"You sure you don't want to come in?"

He nodded. "Yes. I'm sure. All you need right now is a rest so I might as well need to go. Okay?"

"Thank you Minho, really. I appreciate your concerns."

He smiled. "I'm still the old Minho you know. You can count on me anytime. Uhmm. I gotta get going now. See you later, Chae."

I nodded. "Yes.. Bye Minho. Drive safely." Then I watched him drove off."

I went straight to my room, not even bothering to change, I just drop myself on the bed and stared at nothing in particular.

What the fuck is happening to me? I want Jiyong back!

But does he wants me too?