Secret Love

Struggles

I turn over in bed to feel it empty. Harley? I sit up to see I was alone in bed. I get up and see her crawling on the floor. "Baby what are you doing?" I get up and pick her up. "Iii have to go ttto the bathroom." She yawns. I carry her to the bathroom. I hold her in my arms as I pull her pants off for her. I set her down and leave. I take my shirt off and throw it on the floor. It's hot in here. I strip down to my boxers and wait for Harley. I look over at the clock to see it was one in the morning. I heard her flush and finish up. I walk in and get her. "I don't want to wwwear my pants." She tries to take them off. I set her on the bed and take her pants off for her. "Ccan I wear yyyour shirt?" She yawns to me. "Of course." I smile and get her one of my shirts. I come back to see she was waiting for me in her underwear. I looked at the floor trying not to look at her. I hand her my shirt. She put it on and took her bra off. Easy Zak. I go into the bathroom and get all situated. I go out to see her waiting for me. I lay her down then I lay next to her. "Are you all good now?" I ask her softly as I breath on her neck. I want her so bad. "No." "What do you need babygirl?" "You."

"Baby." I sigh and stare at the ceiling. "Why do you keep trying? It's not going to happen." "I know. Bbbecause I love you. I kkknow you're not going to leave me aafterwards. Yyyouree all I have left ZZZaccchary." Well I feel like crap now. "Do yyyou even find me sexually attractive?" "You have no idea, You drive me absolutely crazy." I kiss her neck. "I want you everyday. You make it so hard for me to behave myself." I pull her closer to me. "What would yyyou do?" "No,I see what your doing." I smile into her neck. She turns around and looks me in the eyes. "I want to know." She tells me clearly. "I'll show you someday."I smile and lean down to her. I pull her close to me and kiss her. Her soft warm lips shapeing around mine. I love this woman. I get ontop of her and kiss her neck. "Mm." I heard her moan. Her hands were on my bare back holding me close. Her hands slid down to the my lower back she stopped there and slid her hands back up. I guess I scared her pretty bad about her grabbing my ass. I need to stop. Her body was so warm and felt so right. "Zzachary." She whispered into my ear. "Please." I pull back and look her in the eyes. "You really want that don't you?" "So bad. Can't wwwe at least try?" "You heard the doctor. We can't." "My heart is hhhealthy. He doesn't know wwwhat he was talking aaabout." "I can't baby. When we are married. Don't you want our honeymoon to be special. It will mean so much more if we wait." I tell her. "Fine." She sighs and turns back over.

I get up and go to the gym and sit in my car. I can't leave her. She needs me every second. I get out of the car and go back inside. I look to see the bed empty. "Harley!?!" "You forgot me!" She crawls out of the bathroom with her legs dragging behind her. She still wore my shirt but she pulled her hair back. I smile at her and pick her up. "My special baby." I kiss her cheek. I help her get dressed and put her shoes and socks on. I get her wheel chair and place her in it. I roll her out to the car. I pick her up and put her in. I can't believe she wants to go to the gym with me. I put her chair in the back and get in. "Can wwwe get a ssshake after?" She smiles at me. I look at her to see she wore no make up and was still stunningly beautiful. "Of course, Is that the real reason you came?" I chuckle at her. "No,ssso I can walk." She tells me. I look down at the ground. She's not going to be able to walk so soon. I let it slide and drive to the gym. Harley turned on some music and started singing. She would stutter a lot as she sang. She's really messed up. She stutters, can't walk,move her legs, she's a bit slower. I wish I never brought home that damn doll. Harley goes to open the dashboard. No! The ring is in there.I slam it close scaring her. She looked at me shocked. "Stay out of there!" I tell her sternly hopping to scare her. Maybe she won't look in there if i scare her. "Wwhy?" "Because I don't want you going though my stuff!" "Since when?" "Since now! Stay out of there!" "Fine, yyyour hiding sssomething." "No." I lie to her. Yes! I have the ring I'm going to propose to her with. She's going to open it later I know it. I park the car and get out watching her the whole time making sure she doesn't open the dashboard. I get her wheel chair and put her in it. I wheel her to the door and run back to the car. I grab the ring and put it in my pocket. I grab my wallet and place condoms in the dashboard to throw her off. I close the door and lock the car. I rush back over to her and go in. "What wwwere you dddoing?" "Grabbing my wallet." I tell her and show her my wallet. She nods her head and tries to roll herself forward. She gave up and let me do it. I take the breaks off and roll her. I'm not going to tell her I put the breaks on every time I walk out of the room or walk away. I pay for us and roll her over to the dumbbells. I grab her the fifthteens and hand them to her. "Do curls and lateral raises." I tell her and grab my weights. I grab them to find them heavier than normal. I struggled to do my sets. That's right, not working out for two months put me back. I look over at Harley, she couldn't even lift the weight. I go over and hand her a five. We work our arms for about fifteen minutes. Harley was unusually quiet. She's not happy. She tries to roll but couldn't because I had the breaks on. I go over and take them off. "Where do you want to go?" "The ladyyyy by the cccounter." "I roll her over to the counter." "Cccan i bbarrow that chair?" She asks then lady pointing to the chair in the corner of the desk. The lady looked at her shocked. "Of course." She gives in to Harley. She only said yes because she's in a wheelchair. What is Harley up to? I grab the chair and put it over by the dumbbells. Harley rolled over to me and smiled. Forgot the breaks my bad. "No,on the tttreadmill." She points. "What?" I look at her confused. On the treadmill? She's going to sit in a chair on the treadmill? I don't question her and put it on the treadmill. The legs were on the side of the treadmill not touching the moving part. Harley rolls over to me and smiles. I pick her up and set her in the chair. "Turn iiit on slooow." She commands me. I turn it on slow and watch what she's up to. She started to move her feet up and down like she was walking. Her feet would barely move off the ground but they moved. She's trying to walk. I felt my arms drop to the side. My poor baby girl. Her whole world is turned upside down over this. She's lost everything she's cared about. She was concentrating real hard on moving her legs. I stand there and watch her completely saddened. It's all my fault she's like this. I knew the dangers of that doll but I put my family in jeopardy. She suffered because of my ignorance. I sit on the ground and put my feet under the treadmill and do sit ups as I watch her. Her legs stopped moving and started dragging on the treadmill. I jump up and turn it off. She holds her arms up for me to pick her up. I pick her up and hold her in my arms. "Where to Miss Harley?" "Floor." She answered. I set her on the floor and she puts her legs under the treadmill. She starts to do the sit ups. She's lost a bunch of weight. She's not healthy, Well neither am I. I've noticed if one of us is doing bad the other will be doing just as bad. We share in each other's pain. I sit next to her doing sit ups with her. We finish our workout and get a shake. i leave Harley in the car while I get her wheelchair. I leave her in there longer so she can look in the dashboard. I watch her open it and search it. She held up the condom then her eyes went wide as she realized what it was. "Sorry, the wheel chair is stuck." I lie to her and watch her quickly put it back and shut the dashboard. My paln worked. She thinks she out smarts me and is sneaky but I'm always one step ahead of her. I close the back hatch then get Harley. I look at the dashboard to see a paper sticking out. Harley looks at it too and smacks her forward with her palm. "Harley Ann Johnson!" I pretend to get mad at her. "I'm sorry." She looks down at the ground. "You saw them didn't you?" "Yes." "It doesn't matter!" I pick her up and put her in the chair. I wheel her to the back of the car and put the ring back. I'm so clever. I shut the car and lock it. We get our protein shake and go home. Harley struggles to accept she can't walk or do anything without my help. I finally sit down to relax when Harley sighed heavily. "Bathroom." I get up and carry her to the bathroom. She was sweaty and sticky from our workout. "You need a shower." I tell her. "I kknow. So dddo you." I hold her in one arm and pull down her pants and underwear with my other one. I know she hates that I have to help her do this but oh well. I can't just set her on the toilet and hope she can get her pants off herself. I walk out and let her have some privacy. I go out to the garage and grab her old bath chair. I place it in the shower and start the water. "Zzzachary?" "I'm coming." I walk in and grab her. "You're gggoing to have tooo help me shower." "I know,would it be easier to take a bath?" "Probably." I turn the water in the shower off and run the bath. I pour her vanilla bath soap making extra bubbles. I turn around to Harley to see she had her shirt and bra off trying to get her pants completely off. I should have hired a care giver. I don't mind doing this and helping her but she's going to pull something. She's going to want me in the bath with her. I pick her up trying not to stare at her. I pull her pants off and set her in the tub. She tries to get her hair wet unsuccessfully. I sit her all the way up. "Don't move, I'll be right back." I tell her and walk out of the room. I run to the kitchen and grab a big plastic cup. I run back into the bathroom to see her staring at the water. I get some water in the cup and pour it on her head trying not to get it in her eyes. Gracie comes in and jumps on me. "Gracie stop it." She continued to jump and lock me. "Gracie stop, daddy's giving mommy a bath." I tell her. She stops and tries to get in the tub with Harley. "No, ssit." Harley tells her. Gracie sat on the floor and wagged her tail. I finish taking care of Harley and take my own shower. "You okay?" I ask Harley. "Yes." She answered. "Talk to me please." I ask of her. I need to know she's not drowning. She can't sit up if she needed to. "When is your next innvvestigation?" "No idea, we haven't scheduled one because of you." "Sorry." "No no, it's fine baby. I'm more than happy to be with you. I'm not happy about this whole situation but you're okay and that's all I can ask for." "Same." "I've been thinking. I'm going to start taking you with me." "On an investigation?" She had a smile in her voice. I open the door and look at her. "Yeah, what do you think?" "Yes! I can't wait!" She says so clearly. I finish my shower and wrap myself in a towel. I get out to see Harley pouring water on her head. "Are you done?" "No." "okay let me know when." I go to the closet and get dressed. I throw the towel in the basket and walk out. I get all my stuff out to do my hair. I glance over at Harley to see her sitting back with her eyes closed. "I wish I could walk. I wish I could dance and sing. I wish I could do the simple things. I wish my life was like before, before this evilness has walked into my door. Your love has shown through and through, I know now it must be true. Youre here by my side keeping my hope alive. All these reasons I say I hope your here to stay. I love you more each and everyday. I love you." She tells me a poem she thought of. I smile at her widely. She didn't stutter one bit. That was a beautiful poem of hers. "That was absolutely beautiful baby girl." "I've been thinking of that for a while now." She smiles at me. "You should write that one down." "I wwwil." I finish doing my hair and sit by the tub. "I'm done." She sighs. I know she's not looking forward to me helping her out and getting her dressed. "Alright." I push the drain and get get out and wrap her in a towel. I dry her off and go get her fresh clothes. "Underwear." She calls out me. I go in her drawer and grab the first pair I saw. I get her completely dressed. We go out and relax around the house.