Secret Love

Christmas

I wake up to see the sun shinning in my window. I get up and go to the bathroom and get cleaned up. I open my bedroom door to see Gracie laying there waiting for me. "Hi baby, did he leave yet?"   "No he didn't." He walks over to me. "Good morning sweetheart." He kisses my cheek and looks at me and smiles. "It's Christmas."  "I know."  "I'm sorry for last night. I want you back." "I don't want you back." I tell him.  "I see, you'll change your mind. Come down stairs, i have a surprise for you." he takes my hand. I pull my hand back and look at him upset. "Baby, come on." he sighs.  "I want you to close your eyes for this surprise."  I close my eyes and felt him walk away. "Hold on I have a better idea." he walks into my room and grabs something. I open my eyes to see he had my bandanna. He puts it on my eyes. "Dad, I don't like this. How am I going to walk down the stairs." I hold my hands out. I felt him take my hand. "I got you, don't worry." he says ever so softly. He slowly leads me down the stairs. He then stops. I soon felt his warm breath on my lips met with his soft lips. I've missed this. I couldn't help myself from kiss him back. He then held my face in his big hands kissing me harder. I love kissing him. What am I doing? What is he doing? Next thing i know, i was slammed against the wall. "Stop!" I tell him. He then started kissing my neck.  "Dad, stop!"  "Don't call me dad." He says lowly as he continues to kiss me. "DAD STOP IT!!" In scream as I try to push him off of me.  He finally gets off.  "What the hell?" I try to shove him unable to see. "Sorry I couldn't control myself. Now for your surprise." He turns around and takes my blind fold off. I saw breakfast casserole on the table, coffee already made, and so many presents under the tree. I look over at Zachary to see him watching me. "So what do you think?"  "I like it, where did you get all the presents?"  "I brought them from the house yesterday."  "I see,did you bring the ones I got you?" I ask him. "Yes love." He smiles at me. "When did you make the casserole?"  "I got up at three and made it. I know it's your family tradition so I found your moms recipe."  "You did that for me?"  "Yes baby." He smiles at me. I walk over to the table and dish out some food. I eat mine then dish out Zak's . Just like momma use to make. "How is it?" He asks me as he takes a bite. "Perfect, it's exactly like she use to make." I get up and take our family photo off the wall then sit back down. "You know holidays are always hard on me? I just want to curl up and cry. Just knowing I can never see my family again or have family time and not having my dad to walk me down the isle."  "I know baby. We will find someone to walk you down the isle."  "You can."  "No, I'm going to be waiting for you."  "No your not. We aren't getting married." I take more casserole.  "Yes we are."  "No."  "in time." He eats food. I look to see a chain tucked inside his shirt. I scoot closer to him and lift the chain up. He watches me quietly. I pull the ring out and look at it. It was truly stunning. I slip it on my finger to see it fit perfectly. I study it and see how it looks on my hand. "Does it fit?" He asks me softly. "Yes."  "Good."  "Can I have this ring?"  "Not yet,when we get engaged you can." He says nicely then slides it off my finger tucking it back in his shirt. "We aren't getting married so can I still have it?"  "No."  "why not?"  "This is a wedding/engagement ring and it will only be wore as that. Until then it's staying with me for safe keeping." He gets up and goes to the kitchen sink. "When did you try asking me?" I ask him softly.  He leaned against the sink looking out the window. "You remember that day we went to he zoo then your special spot?" He asks lowly.  "Yes."  "When we were in the field and I go down on one knee. I choked up. I played it off by tying your shoe."  "I see." I nudged my food. I'm glad he didn't ask me.  "But don't worry, I have it all planned out. It will be so special." He turns around and smiles at me. "You'll love it. I have my speech all planned out,the perfect spot, I have your ring,and I'm not going to choke up this time." He smiles happily as he cleans his plate. He asks me I'm going to say no. I don't want to marry him. Every desire I had is completely gone. "Have you looked at dresses yet?" He asks me. "No, I don't need a wedding dress. That's a complete waste of time." I tell him flatly. "Why is it a waste of time? You need to start looking now."  "No, I don't. I'm not getting married. I don't want to get married. You ask me I'm saying no." I tell him upset with irritation in my voice. The smile he had completely disappeared from his face. His shoulders slouched down as his arms hung by his side. "Don't do this to me." He asks me softly. "I'll do anything for you Harley. Please just give me one more chance." "I already told you. I don't want to date anyone. I want to be alone."   "Fine,as soon as the weather clears up I'm gone. You really disappointed me." He tells me. I disappoint him. Those words would not stop ringing in my ears. "Do you even want to have Christmas?" I look over at the tree to all the presents waiting under the tree. All the gifts I bought him. He deserves to have a special Christmas. "Yes, let's have a nice one,no arguing."  "Deal." He agrees with. I get up and clean my mess after I finish I walk into mum parents room. What am I doing? What do I want? I want Zak but at the same time I don't. I want to run up to him and kiss him. Why am I having such contracting feelings? I'm putting him through a lot. I'm tearing him up emotionally. Go out there apologize and kiss him. Do it. I open the door and go out to see him sorting presents. "Zachary." I say softly. He then looks up at me with a smile. "Yes love?"  "I'm sorry for being rude and nasty." I apologize.  "Don't worry about it. Let's have a nice Christmas. The cookies are in the oven." I go over and hug him. He hugs me back and pulls me close. "Can you promise me something?" He whispers. "What?"  "Please don't call me dad. It hurts too much."  "I'll try." I look up sync him to see he had Sorrow written all over his eyes. He looked down at the ground then at the wall. I put my hand on the side of his face to make him look at me. I then lean in unable to control myself. He was shocked then kissed me back. I jump into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. I've missed him so much. He fell to the floor while I laid on top of him. He held me closer to him,holding me tight. God I've missed this man! I pull back and kiss his strong neck. "Harley." Zak sighs softly. He's so strong it drives me crazy. I pull back and look him in the eyes. "I've missed you." He breaths. "I've missed you too." I then quickly kiss his lips then sit up. "Does this mean you forgive me?"  "I don't know." I sigh and get off of him.  "Baby please, Gracie and Rose miss you. I miss you." "I don't know!"  "Well think about it." He continues to sort the presents. The oven then beeped so I go and take the cookies out. I turn the house oven off then grab a plate of cookies for us. I go back over to see Zak waiting for me. 

I sit down across from him, placing them cookies between us. "You should go first." He smiles handing me a gold wrapped present with a red bow. I take the job now off and the wrapping paper to see It was a shoe box. I open the lid to see it was white soccer cleats with a signature on each shoe. One shoe read Hope Solo wholeness the other read Abby Wamback. No! There was a note in each shoe. I pull one out of the Hope shoe. I then unfold the paper. "Harley, never give up on your dreams. Keep trying until you succeed. Love, Hope." "Harley, don't let other people take control of your ball. It's in your field. Work hard, train hard, and be happy. It's up to you. -Abby. P.S keep playing, your such a good player. " I look up at Zak with tears in my eyes. He was videotaping me. "You met them?" "Yes, I showed them some videos of you playing. They were very impressed." I wipe my face and give him a big hug. "Thank you." I say softly.  "Your welcome baby." He says. I pull back then go sit in my spot. I watch him debate which box to open. "This one." I hand him the Red wrapped box. He tears off the wrapping paper then studied the box then looked at me with a smirk. He opens the box and smiles. "No way." He pulls out the brand new watch he's been eyeing. He puts it on and smiles. "Thank you baby. I love it!"  "Your welcome." I smile then open another shoe box to see brand new black heels. I put them on and smile. "Very pretty, they go perfect with your pjs." He chuckled. "Right!" I smile happily. "Are they the right size?"  "Yes." "Good." He then opens a shoe box pulling out a nice red and black pair. "I love them." He smiles and puts them on. "Do they fit?"  "Yes,love." He flashes me a beautiful smile. I then open a long slender black velvet box. I look up at him trying to hide my smile. I know it's going to be jewelry. I open it to see the most beautiful diamond necklace. I couldn't hide my smile any longer. I take it out and scoot over to him. "Can you put it on me?" He takes and puts it on me. I get up and run to the bathroom to have a look. It was simply stunning. I'm so happy! I look behind me to see Zak smiling. I turn around and jump into his arms. He catches me and holds me to him. "Thank you daddy Bagans." I kiss him.  "Your welcome little momma." He holds me closer. He then walks out to the living room setting me down in my spot. Zak sat down I need his but I crawled over and sat in his lap. "Baby." He chuckles at me. I turn around and straddle him. I then kiss him. I can't get enough of him. I've missed this man so much. My baby. "Harley." He sighs as he pulls back."Open the rest of your presents." I get off of him then sit in my spot. I open my next present. It was another square black velvet box. "Zak." I smile at him.  "Open it." I open the box to see a pandora charm bracelet. Only a few charms were on it. "I made it just for you." He smiles proudly. I look at the beautiful charms. There was a beautiful diamond birthstone, the date 31st, a soccer ball,a heart with a key, Tinkerbell, and a ghost charm. "It's beautiful Zachary."  I hand him the bracelet so he should put it on me. He puts it on and smiles. "Let me explain it to you. This is our birthstone, always connected, the 31st is our date we made it official, the soccer ball is your passion and how great you are at it, the ghost is what you and I do, the key and the heart is simple. You have the key to my heart and you always will. Tinkerbell is your favorite character and what your family use to call you." "Thank you Zachary." I hug him. He hugs me back tightly holding me in his strong arms. He let's go and opens one of his presents. He opens up the big box. He pulls out a book and looks at it. He flips over the cover and looks at it. "You drew this?" He smiles.  "Yes, I drew all of them." I gave him a book of all the puts drew of us.  "Harley,this is beautiful."  "You like it?"  "I love it sweetie." He smiles as he continues to look at all the pictures. I then pull out a box tearing the wrapping paper. I see it was a small velvet jewelry box. "I open it up to see new diamond studs. "Zachary." I sigh. "You don't like them?" He asks me worried.  "I love them. It's just you spent so much on me."  "That's because I love you. Don't worry about the money babe."  "Thank you." I put them on. He then tears open a gift. He pulls out a nice pair of red shoes. "How did you know I wanted these?"  "I guessed." I shrugged my shoulders. I open a clothes box and pull out a nice black shirt with GAC on the front and a lace back with a nice pair of dark jeans. I rush to the bathroom and put it on. Perfect. I go out and show Zak.