Secret Love

Driven Away

I wake up and go down the stairs. I look to see Zak starring out the window. "Hello." He turns around and looks at me. "Hi." I say and go to the fridge. "Your coffee is in the microwave." He tells me. I take it out and drink it. "How are you this morning?"  "Tired." I say shortly. I really don't want to talk to him. "Did you wear your jewelry to bed?"  "I forgot to take it off."  "You could have been strangled." He tells me softly.  "Well I wasn't." I rudely say.  "Did you have a bad dream?"  "No."  "you were screaming again." He sighs.  "Whatever." I get up and look out of the window. It stopped snowing but there was a lot of snow on the ground. I hope it melts quickly. "The roads are still icey." He sighs.  "Still too dangerous." I tell him. "You should come home with me."  "I'm staying here alone." I tell him.  "Baby please your over reacting."  "DONT TELL ME IM OVER REACTING! I DONT LIKE YOU OKAY!" I yell at him.  "Why are you so pissy?"  "BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU WOULD BE TOO IF YOU REALLY DID KICK ME OUT! IF WE REALLY DID HAVE SEX YOUD WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!"  "I would have realized I was an idiot and I need you by now."  "AND YOU THINK ID RUN BACK TO YOU DONT YOU! WELL NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! FIND YOURSELF A BETTER BITCH AND GO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH HER BECAUSE IM DONE!"  "I want you."  "NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!"  "AFTER ALL IVE DONE FOR YOU?"  "THAT WAS IN THE PAST!"  "WHAT I DID WAS IN THE PAST TOO! WHY DO YOU STILL HATE ME?" He yells back at me.  "BECAUSE I DO! THATS HOW I FEEL!"  "SO WHEN YOU KISSED ME YOU HATED ME TOO?"  "YES THAT WAS JUST AN ACT! I WANTED A NICE CHRISTMAS!"  "REAL NICE! SO YOU PLAYED ME?"  "YES!"  "I WANT ALL MY JEWELRY I BOUGHT YOU BACK."  "NO!"  "YES GIVE IT BACK NOW."  "NEVER, ITS MINE."  "I BOUGHT IT."  "SO ITS MY GIFT. THEN GIVE ME THE WATCH AND THE BOOK BACK THEN." I yell. He just glared at me.  "Exactly." I tell him. "You are something else."he tells me. "I know." I tell him.  "You need to grow up. Your acting like a child."  "Well news flash I am still a child. I'm sorry I'm not grown up for you." I tell him rudely. God he makes me so mad. "Will you stop with that? I don't care about your age anymore."  "Yeah okay." I roll my eyes.  "Why won't you just take me back? Let all this fighting be over. We can continue our relationship and get married. Don't you want that for us?" He asks me softly.  "Not really."  "I know you weren't acting when you kissed me. You want me back."  "No, I don't."  "You give yourself away in your sleep." He tells me. "What ever."  "You know getting back together won't be you losing and looking weak right? If anyone is looking weak it's me. I've crawled back to you on my knees. I need you." He tells me.  "I don't care if I look weak. You mean nothing to me. Honestly I can't wait until you leave."  "You know what. I think I'll stay until you take me back."  "Hell you won't!" I get pissed. "Your not welcomed in my house."  "Technically it's my house. I'm the one paying the bills." He crosses his arms.  "DID YOUR PARENTS LIVE HERE I DOMT THINK SO!"    "But I bought the house so it's mine now. I'm just letting you live here."  "Then give me the bills!"  "How are you going to pay them? You don't have a job anymore."   "I still have money in my account."  "True but that will only last you hmm about a year. Not including food or your car."  "Well when my money gets low I'll get a job."  "So your going to come back to the show?" He asks me. "No, that means I have to see you."  "So your going to work at some store or McDonald's?"  "I'll go back to school and finish my EMT then I'll be a perimdic."  "How are you going to get accepted back into school and how are you going to pay for that?"  "I'll figure something out."  "You are so stubborn."  "I know."  "Just come home and have your life back."  "I am home. You aren't going to change." "What do I need to change? I have changed for you."  "Stop denying me and just marry me already."  "Not going to happen. I told you my wish. Your just going to have to wait. Is that all you care about? You don't care how I am as a person?" He tells me.  "Of course I do. I just feel like you don't find me attractive and love me that much."  "Baby I do love you. You are the most beautiful girl I know. Trust me when we are married your going to have to keep me off of you. It's going to be all the time."  "So you say."  "Harley you've seen all the girls I've been with. You know me."  "That's why I think you don't find me attractive in that way."  "I'm waiting until marriage. That's final."  "Fine."  "Fine what?"  "I don't want you anyways. I'll find someone else."  "Don't you dare."  "Watch me."  "Your going to cheat on me and lose it?"  "I'm not cheating on you. We aren't dating." I glare at him.  "How would you like it if I brought some bitch to the house and fucked her!?!"  I then think about it. I'd kill that bitch. "Exactly." He says proving his point. "As soon as the roads improve you need to leave."  "I'm not leaving until I get you back."  "No."  "you'll be able to see Gracie." He tries to convince me. "I don't care." We then hang around the house not talking to each other. The only time we talk is when we fight. 

The roads are all clear not a single inch of snow on the ground. I take Zak's keys and throw them at him. "You can leave now."  "Baby, please come with me. It will be just us." He speaks softly. "No, now get out of my house and don't come back!"  "What about Rose?"  "She can come here."  "Now leave." He then gets up and comes over to me standing inches away. He stares into my eyes with a soft expression. "Harley I love you. Baby please come home." He then takes my hand. "We are going to get married." He breaths then leans down to me. He pulls me close to him and kisses my neck. "Then we can do what ever we want." "Now?"  "No, not now." He pulls back. "How come you play me like that?" I push him. "GET OUT!" I push him again. He then sighs."Please love, think it over. We need each other. " "I dont need you." "You disappointed me." he walks away. "Gracie come on. Lets go home." he walks to the front door. Gracie gets up following him out. I go to the front door watching him get in the car. He looks at me then drives away. He's gone. That's the last ill see him. What have i done?