~No One Knows~ A Green Day Story

•Chapter Forty One •

"Hey! Ugh, the show was a fucking disaster, I mean we played well. But the crowd was everywhere, security had to tackle some guy off of Billie..." Mike shakes his head, laughing at his own memory as I pull the blanket tighter to my chin. I trt to force a laugh, but all that shows is a weak smile. I still didn't feel good, and the fight me and Addie got into yesterday kept rolling around in my brain. 

"Sounds fun..." He comes and sits next to me, brushing some hair off of my forehead.

"You feeling okay?" I nod, lying to him.

"Yeah, just a little tired. I think I'm just kinda homesick, Mike. Still getting used to the whole tour thing, you know?" He nods, looking bothered.

"Did you and Addie get into something? Both of you are looking kinda down" I lie to him again, shaking my head.

"Just girl stuff, Mike. It'll blow over" Thankfully he doesn't ask anymore questions, and leaves me alone with my thoughts for now.

I wasn't pleased with anything right now. Laying alone gave me time to just relax and not be under pressure, but it also made all kinds of thoughts roam around my head. My head was spinning as I laid here, and my stomach grumbled in hunger this time as I sat up with a head rush and walked out to the kitchen area.

I avoided Addie's gaze as I sat down on a stool. She never looked at me, never said a word to me as I recited my apology in my head. 

She simply just stood there and heated up some soup out of the fridge. It's our first contact in two days as she places the steaming bowl down in front of me. 

"Thanks..." My voice cracks, and Addie, no matter what I may have said to her, sits down next to me with a smile.

"You're welcome...how are you feeling?" I don't cry because I'm sad or because I don't feel good. I cry because I'm a bitch and Addie won't hate me no matter what I say to her.

She pouts out a lip and softly coo's at me as she brings me into her shoulder and strokes my hair.

"I'm sorry, Addie. I don't hate you, I never should've said any of that. I was just mad and...and unsure" She continues stroking my hair before pulling away and looking around, I suppose for Mike and Billie and Tré.

"Are you sure now?" I shake my head, although I was almost certain and had accepted the fact that very soon my life would be changed forever and I would likely be single. I just wasn't ready to lose Mike, yet. I wanted to savor him for another day or so before I spilled some kind of news that would make him leave me.

Addie sighs out a breath.

"Here. I got you this last night. There's two...just in case" She hands me a small bag from one of the kitchen drawers, and my breathing stops for a minute until I'm gasping for air.

"Addie, I...I'm not ready for this...I always thought I was strong, and tough. I'm so weak I can't even do this..." Addie nods as if she understands, and maybe she does. It's quite possible considering she has two children, but her and Billie were married before they had kids.

Me and Mike are boyfriend and girlfriend, and neither of us have ever brought up the subject of being engaged eve. Besides the constant sound of Mike's voice shocking in my head, reminding me of when he said he didn't want kids unless he married the right girl.

I'm not the right girl and I know it. Me and Mike won't be married...so what does that say about if I have to break news like this to him? I know exactly what it says. It says he's going to leave me and I'll be stuck with his child and bad memories that will overtake my life.

"Hey..." Addie's hand on my shoulder brings me out of my thoughts and she sighs.

"I know this is hard, but I'll make you a deal. If you take the tests I'll be there with you...if you want. But you have to tell Mike right away...okay?" I didn't want to agree, but I knew I needed her help and I also knew that if I didn't promise to tell him right away that I would keep putting it off. If my heart was going to get broke then I wanted it to be fast and quick. It's less painful that way.

I accepted now as I held her hand to the bathroom, that in a matter of minutes my relationship with Mike would be over. And I was preparing myself for the blow.

I tried telling myself that Mike wasn't that important to me, that I wouldn't be distraught. But I knew deep down that this was going to shatter my heart and nothing would heal it easily.

Addie stands outside the bathroom door, and when I unwrap the wrapper the test came in, my hands shake.

I'm trembling and my eyes are burning so bad with tears that I can barely keep them open.

I see on the tests, both of them, and soon I can hear Mike's voice outside of the bathroom door, asking where I am.

I listen to the clock on the wall tick and cringe as I look down at the tests on the sink.

Dread hits my stomach and I can't breathe for a solid minute.

I open the door, hot tears running down my face as I look into the worried face of Mike.

"What's wrong?" I sniffle, wiping my eyes.

"We have to break up, Mike" The words seem so real to me, and I love him so much that I can't imagine leaving him. But I know it's what is going to happen. I'm breaking up with him so he doesn't have to do it for me.

The pure heartbreak on his face is clearer than the tests reading positive.