My first crush (COMPLETED)√

Chapter 3: Earth to Sharon

I still couldn't believe Josh would do something like that. The audacity of it. The sheer nerve.

Why couldn't he have just said it? Why couldn't he have opened his mouth and told me he liked me instead of crossing a line he had no right to cross?

I lay there, frozen, my body stiff with disbelief. Then I opened both eyes.

My heart slammed violently against my ribs. He thought I was asleep. Thought I couldn't see a thing. And in that split second, so quick, so careless, he did it.

The realization hit me like cold water.

I was still shaking, my chest tight, my thoughts scattered. The violation of it all made my stomach churn. Josh. Of all people. I couldn't wrap my head around it. My mind spiraled immediately, twisting itself into knots, painting the worst possible meanings, the darkest interpretations. I felt trapped, suffocating, desperate to escape the bus, the seat, the memory forming too fast.

I needed out.

"Damn," the bus driver groaned suddenly. "This thing's faulty."

Relief exploded through me so hard I almost laughed.

Joy, pure, unfiltered joy, flooded my veins. We had to transfer buses. That meant separation. That meant distance. That meant freedom.

I wasn't sitting with him anymore.

"Freedom," I whispered to myself, barely breathing the word. It felt like a prayer. And for once, the prayer was answered.

That guy, Josh, I didn't even know what word fit him anymore. Disgusting didn't feel strong enough.

When I finally got home, I went straight to my room, my limbs heavy, exhaustion settling into my bones. The day had crushed me. I didn't even have the energy to watch the next episode of The Vampire Diaries, something I'd been dying to do all week.

"I'll watch it tomorrow," I muttered flatly.

But the moment I lay down, the memories rushed back. Sharp. Clear. Uninvited.

When would I forget it?

I wished desperately that it wasn't what I thought I saw. That it wasn't real. But then my body betrayed me with a truth I wasn't ready to face.

The tickling feeling...

The thought horrified me.

Conflicting emotions swirled violently inside my head—disgust tangled with curiosity, anger mixed with something dangerously close to pleasure. I felt sick for it. Ashamed. Terrified.

I knew I sounded crazy for even admitting it, but the truth was undeniable. A small part of me had reacted.

And that scared me more than anything else.

"Stop thinking rubbish," I snapped, slapping my cheek. The sting grounded me, if only for a second.

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection like it might answer me. My face looked unfamiliar confused, vulnerable, uncertain.

Am I beautiful at all?

The comparison came automatically. My sisters. Always my sisters. The familiar ache settled in my chest.

Then Stephen.

His face flashed in my mind, his smile, his stupidly cute expression and irritation surged through me.

"Stephen, how could you do this?" I yelled into the room. "I can't even look at your fucking cute face now!"

I threw myself onto the bed and grabbed my diary, my fingers itching to write, to dump everything out before it consumed me. But the moment my pen touched the paper, his name echoed again.

Stephen.

"Stephen!" I stopped myself, biting my lip hard.

Frustration twisted my insides. I hugged my pillow tightly, squeezing it like I could force him out of my thoughts. I rolled across the bed, gripping it so hard it felt like it was gasping for air.

But I didn't let go.

Sleep refused to come. The tiredness vanished, replaced by restless energy.

"How am I supposed to sleep with Stephen hijacking my brain?" I whispered.

Then, like a ghost, another name surfaced.

Eric.

"What is wrong with me?" I screamed into the pillow. "I erased Eric from my head! It should be Stephen now. Only Stephen!"

"Chill, girl!" Carly shouted from outside. "I can hear you. Keep it down!"

I rushed to her and grabbed her hands like they were an anchor.

"I know," I said quickly. "But I don't know what to do. It's him. I replaced him, but he keeps coming back. Help me fix my brain before I completely destroy it."

She stared at me for a moment.

"Seriously, you're burning up," she said, pressing her hand to my forehead. Her eyes widened. "You need to relax. Is this how you act when you go crazy?"

"You don't understand, Carl," I pleaded. "It's him. That stupid guy. I don't want to go crazy. Help me, please!"

She guided me to sit down, her expression softening.

"I might actually need to babysit you," she sighed. "So... who is this guy?"

"His name is E—"

My words dissolved as sleep pulled me under. My eyelids grew heavy, and I slumped into her arms.

"Some people's madness comes and goes," Carly muttered, patting my arm gently.

*******

Hands waved in front of my face.

"Hello? Earth to Sharon."

I blinked, snapping back to reality. Stiles stood over me, grinning. I hadn't even noticed Bella and Helen leaving the classroom. It was just us now. Me, Stephen... and Stiles.

"You've been spacing out forever," Stiles teased. "Were you thinking about..."

"Mind your business, Stiles," Stephen cut in sharply, sitting beside me.

My heart skipped.

The silence that followed was heavy, awkward.

"Sharon," Stephen said softly, taking my hands in his, "we need to talk."