My first crush (COMPLETED)√

PART 2: Chapter 61: Broken heart

I saw his diary.

I never knew Stephen kept one. The worn leather cover sat in my hands, heavy with secrets I wasn't sure I had the right to uncover.

I wanted to read it. I wanted to know everything about him — the parts he never showed, the parts he hid behind his charm and confidence. After all... I was his girlfriend.

"No." I shook my head and placed it back under the bed. It wasn't right.

But the silence in the room pressed against me, and curiosity clawed its way through my hesitation.

Who cared?

I reached down again, took the diary, and sat on the edge of the bed, my fingers trembling slightly as I opened it.

⸻

Stephen's Diary

March 10, 2007

Dear diary,

It's hard to put this down because it hurts. It hurts more than anything. Today is the worst day of my life.

I killed my younger brother, Nathan.

I swear I didn't mean to. It was a mistake. We got into a fight... and I pushed him. I didn't think he would fall. I didn't think he would tumble down the stairs like that.

I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I called my parents, but they didn't pick up quickly enough. By the time they answered... he had already lost his breath.

They hate me now. They blame me.

I wish I were the one who died.
The guilt is eating me alive.
I don't think I'll ever be the same again.

⸻

My chest tightened as I read the words.

I felt sorry for him — truly sorry. To carry that kind of pain alone for so many years... I couldn't even imagine the weight of it.

I turned the page.

⸻

September 19, 2007

Dear diary,

It's been a while.

Today I was betrothed to Patricia Scott. She's pretty... and I think I like her. I hope this relationship works.

⸻

August 5, 2014

Today some guys taught me how to smoke.
Also had sex for the first time.
It was fun.

Note: If you're underage, don't ever try this. It's wrong and unhealthy.
⸻

August 6, 2014

I had sex with Patricia today.
She was a virgin.
I was the first guy she ever had.
I was pretty rough.

⸻

Different emotions flickered across my face as I read — surprise, discomfort, jealousy.

Yes... I felt jealous.
But their relationship was over now. It shouldn't matter.

I kept reading.

⸻

April 9, 2017

Dear diary,

I've done something terrible again. I regret it more than anything.

It was my birthday. My friends and I were drunk in my room. I suggested a stupid game — whoever walked in, especially a girl, we would sleep with her.