Prologue
You said I was your everything— that without me you are nothing. You said we were perfect— like a pieces of jigzaw puzzle that perfectly fits each other. You said you couldn't live without me— that I'm your salvation, your ray of light amidst of darkness.
You promised to love me every single day of forever. That you'll never give up and surrender.
So, where's that promises gone?
You lied.
You had given me a lot of promises yet unfulfilled.
After two years of being together, you left me without a further explanation. You just broke up with me like it's just a normal thing to do. Why was it so easy for you to walk away and leave me?
Why?
Every single lines that he told me the day he broke up with me was still quite vivid in my head.
"I came here to end our relationship, Autumn. I am breaking up with you"
After saying those painful words— he left. He left me shattered, lost and broken. He left, without knowing I cried.
Until now I couldn't understand why Drake broke up with me. I poured everything kaya hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkulang. Am I not enough? Ginawa ko naman lahat pero bakit umalis parin siya? Bakit iniwan parin niya ako?
It hurts knowing you tried doing your best and still, it doesn't good enough.
"Everything will be fine."
I lifted my head and there I saw Mika standing infront of me. She's looking at me with pity shining through her eyes. I smiled to mask the pain I'm feeling. I never want to be a burden to anyone, so I tend to pretend like everything's fine when in fact it's not.
She let out a deep breath before she spoke. "Don't smile if you don't feel like doing it. You don't need to put a facade to cover up what you really feel. It's alright to not be okay. Kaibigan mo ako kaya hindi mo kailangang magpanggap sa harapan ko."
Dahil sa ngiting ibinigay niya sa akin, hinayaan ko na ding masira ang mga pader na itinayo ko para sa sarili ko.
I've been along with my pain for so long and I couldn't handle it anymore. I closed my eyes and bowed my head as tears filled my eyes. "It hurts like hell, Mika."
She quickly embraced me. "Just cry it all out to ease the pain. I can be your human tissue, you know"
Do you know what's funny? That's when after he left me broken, my heart stills belong to him. I still love him with all the broken pieces of me. I tried to divert my feelings and my attention sa ibang bagay pero kahit anong gawin ko, nangingibabaw parin ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya.
I am so stupid! Stupid... stupidly inlove with him.
"Nasasaktan ka kasi hanggang ngayon hindi mo parin matanggap na wala na talagang kayo. Alam mo, there are reasons why people stay in our past. He's not belong in your future. He's not your happy ending! Just forget him. You deserve someone better!"
Someone better than him? But for me, he's the best.
I don't know how long I cried. Siguro naipon lahat ng kinimkim ko kaya ngayon lahat bumubuhos.
"Do you need more tissue? Ah, It makes me want to hit your head on the wall just for you to forget him!" she said trying to lighten the mood.
"Mika naman!" hinampas ko siya ng mahina sa braso. Kahit humihikbi ay hindi ko parin maiwasang mapangiti dahil sa kanya.
