What I Really Want To Say

Kisses, Misses, and a Whole Lot of Secrets.

"Is everything alright Mr. Clark?" Evie, my nurse, opened up my door.

"I'm sorry that its late and everything, but i'm ready to talk. If thats okay with you." 

"Any time is fine with me Mr. Clark." 

"Please call me Travis. I'd feel more comfortable." 

"Sure thing Travis. I'm ready whenever you are." She sat in the chair next to my bed.

For what seemed like an hour, I just talked. And she just listened. It was nice having someone who i didn't really know, so they couldn't judge me, hear me out. She felt really guilty about her asking to be called Eva. I told her it wasn't a big deal, and continued with the story.

"I know you're just a nurse, you're not a therapist or anything, but what should i do? Should i get help? See someone? Go to rehab? Or what? I just want to get better but i have no idea how.."

"The first step to getting better is admitting you have a problem.  You've done that. The next step is all yours. If you want to go to rehab you have to want to go. If not, you won't get better. Same with a therapist."

I yawned and stretched my legs out.

"Are you tired Mr. Clark?"

"I guess so."

"I can leave so you can sleep, we can talk again tomorrow before you leave."

"You seem to forget that i have insomnia."

"I'm gonna go get some pills for you. You should be able to get some sleep tonight. And if they work alright i can get a perscription for you."

"Thanks."

She walked out of the door and it shut with a whisper. It was quiet. And for once i didn't mind it. I was at peace with myself. And for once, i shut my eyes and slept. Finally.

                                   *****************

"You should see the things that get thrown on stage! All Time Low, the ones that played before me, average almost thirty bras a night!" This voice belonged to Megan.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" This voice belonged to her aunt.

"And you wouldn't believe what they write on them! Like, be my baby daddy, and their numbers, all sorts of other things." 

"Jack and Alex bring that onto themselves with all the Jalex stuff." I croaked.

"Well it looks like sleeping beauty is up!" Megan walked over and sat on my hospital bed. "We can leave whenever. We were just waiting for you to wake up." 

"What time is it?" I searched the room for a clock somewhere.

"Almost ten. Happy Christmas Eve by the way." She smiled and held my hand. 

"I'm ready to get out of here." 

"I bet you are. It must suck." 

I hit the nurse button, and Evie brought everything i needed. All my paperwork and what i needed to keep and what i needed to sign so i could leave and all that jazz. It's boring. I really wondered why i don't have ADD, cause when it comes to these things, i certaintly don't pay attention. 

I had to be wheeled out of the hospital unfortunately, still being a 'fall risk' and all. But whatever. I got to leave, that's what counts I guess. 

Megan drove to her house and feed me an entire meal before we traveled back to mine. I wasn't even hungry. But then again, when am i ever hungry? 

I arrived at Dannys/My house and immediately Elvis ran to me.