Marry Me

45. Selfish

May Daniels.

'I miss you like crazy.'

A lengthy moment passed by while I stared at the text until my neck began to protest from being in that stiff posture. Then with an enormous sigh, my head leaned back against the rocker chair while my eyes stared at nothing in particular. 

I was sitting at the back of the garden where Jess and I were living currently. Five long, painful months had passed since I left Alex at the hospital.

My mind couldn't comprehend if it was a smart decision or really a stupid one. I was miserable without him, that's for sure. But I also know for certain that if I didn't leave, I'd get pregnant again. The threat will always be there, no matter who the opposition was. And I don't have it in me to lose another child. No need to say how fearful I was for the three little girls I had left behind with the mafia clan. That, I mused, was definitely a stupid move.

Though, to be honest there was no other way. My body was aching in some parts. My legs were unable to hold me up without support for long periods of time. Even after all these time, I've yet to fully recover. How am I supposed to deal with three young children when I had trouble standing straight?

A while more, I told myself. Once I had gained full control of my body, I would legally adopt them to be my very own daughters. There was enough finance passed on to me to last two whole generation and once I recover, I'd go back to work. This will work. Just me and the girls... And no Alex...

It was painful to not see him. And to imagine a life without him was pure agony. But if that ensures the girls' safety I would do it. I'm strong enough for to a life without him...Right?

My eyes involuntarily to my mobile on my hand. The words stared back at me boldly. Alex had been sending me messages almost on daily basis. Those simple greetings were something that I had begun to look to forward to every morning even though I hadn't replied to them once.

He has been trying to keep me up to date about the three girls who were still living with his mother, Evie. Something that I was deeply glad about. Evie would keep them safe. The only consolation I had were the video calls made by her. She makes certain that the girls get to talk to me at least once a week.

With a soft ping, another text popped into my screen. 'I love you.'

"So do I..." A soft whisper escaped my lips. I wanted to reply to his messages. But if I did, he will come for me as soon as he could. I needed this...this distance. I couldn't go back to him. I didn't belong in that life.

"Hello May... I finally get to see you again."

My eyes shot up at the soft but cold voice that sounded much like my mother's. Though it was my beloved sister stood a little further away, holding herself rather stiffly.

Damn! I cursed mentally. Will the drama ever leave me alone?

"What are you doing here?" My harsh question made her flinch. It was no surprise. She had never been the strong one. She shaped herself to the likes of my mother, then to the likes of her late husband aka my ex fiance.

Her face twisted into a sneer. "I was visiting a friend and saw you out in the garden. This is a shock though. Uncle Carlous had told me that you were dead. You can imagine my surprise when I saw you alive..." 

That name burned viciously in my mind. She seemed angry after uttering those words. My mind worked fast, connecting the dots easily. "You knew he was going to come after me, didn't you?"

She smiled serenely. It was a terrifying sight. "Actually I sort of pushed him in that direction and gave him the idea to burn that casino. You see, Carlous is not that smart. He might be Mafia but he is stupid."