"What are your thoughts on Valentine's Day?" Dan asked me a month later. We were sitting in his room, while I was working on a uni application. He was watching TV. I just really enjoyed his company.
"Never really thought about it. Never had a valentine." I mumbled, looking at my application with a pen in hand.
"Really?" He asked, surprised. I nodded, looking up at him. His hair was messed up, and it was so cute. Before I'd arrived, Dan had taken a nap. I had gotten there while he was still asleep, and he had woke up about five minutes after I got there.
"Yeah, not really a surprise." I told him. He came over to me and sat on my lap. I laughed a little, he was so light.
"Dan, I'm working." I whined, but I didn't really mind. He put his hands around my shoulders, enveloping me in a hug.
"First, tell me love. How have you never had a valentine?" Dan asked, rocking around on my lap.
"Because I've never dated anyone besides you, Tyler, and that one girl in 6th grade." I smirked at him.
"You had a girlfriend?" Dan blurted out laughing. I nodded. It was an awkward period in my life, I was starting to realize that 'Oh shit. I'm gay! I have to get me a girlfriend!'
"I'm surprised guys weren't falling at your feet." He flirted. I smiled up at him, sticking out my tongue.
"You did."
"And it was the best decision of my life," He kissed me on the forehead. "Because I'm here. With you."
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
"Oh god, it's not even Valentine's Day yet!" I groaned at all the couples making out in the hallways. Sure, Dan and I did sometimes, but not just because it was close to Valentine's Day.
"Well, we're the ones holding hands." Dan scoffed at me, squeezing my hand. I kept looking around at the couples.
"At least we're not having sex in the hallway!" I pointed with my other hand to a couple getting way too touchy. "Shouldn't a teacher be breaking that up or somethin'?"
"Shut up, Phil." Dan said playfully, shoving me but still holding my hand. I understood him being so annoyed at me. I was always just sort of bitter towards Valentine's Day because I'd never had a valentine. Tyler and I started dating after Valentine's Day, so I'd never had a legitimate valentine.
"Sorry, just a bit bitter." I mumbled and we walked to lunch together.
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
danisnotonfire- even if you're a bit bitter about vday, is it ok if i do something for you?
Amazing Phil- sure, i guess...
danisnotonfire- excellent :)
Amazing Phil- ...you lovely boy
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
I closed the envelope to the final application form I had. I was so nervous for getting into uni. I wanted to go so badly. I wanted to become an screen writer. I needed the help of uni to do that.
I looked at all of the letters- 5 in all. Then it started to sink in. 5 wasn't enough.
I wasn't going to get into these schools.
I started to panic. I had to- but I wasn't going to. My scripts weren't good enough anymore. Not all the proof reading in the world could have fixed them.
This was the real world, those scripts weren't real. Those were ideas I had in a math class, while listening to music. Those weren't real ideas.
Panic was setting in. I started running my hands through my hair, I threw my glasses on the desk.
"No!" I yelled at myself. "It's not good enough!"
No one was home, I only could blame myself. Who was I to think I can be a script writer? I had stupid, childish ideas. It was all over!
I started to scratch the inside of my hand. I only did this when I had panic attacks. I was being consumed by my anxiety.
You're not good enough to be in the real world.
Your ideas are terrible!
What were you thinking?
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
"Hey!" Dan tilted his head to the side as he greeted me at his door. I looked at him and burst out into tears.
"Hey, what happened?" he asked, his voice filling with concern. He brought me in and wrapped his arms around me. I kept crying, I didn't know what to do. All I could do was cry into Dan's collarbones.
I stopped crying, gradually, telling him what happened. How I couldn't do it.
"Honey, you have to send in those applications." He told me after I told him everything. We were laying on his couch, and my head was on his lap.
"What's the point? I'm not going to get in." I sadly murmured.
"Now listen. You're going to get into those schools. I've read your scripts. They're brilliant." Dan stroked my hair.
"You're lying." I said, blushing.
"Would I bullshit you?" He asked, locking his brown eyes with my blue ones. I shook my head. Even if Dan was my boyfriend, he would always tell me the truth. Not what I wanted to hear.
"Where are you applying?" I asked him. I wonder why I didn't ask before.
"Wales Theatre Arts." He smiled.
"Wait!" I exclaimed, popping up out if his lap. "I'm applying there! That school is my main school!"
"Really? I didn't even know!" He hugged me. That school had everything- acting, directing, screen writing.
"Wouldn't it be awesome if we got in together?" I asked him, laying back down on his lap.
"I would love that."
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
