I was stuck in a permanent panic attack, and I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop shaking. I didn't even know what happened to Dan. He just stopped trying to talk to me. I was taken to a mental institute by my parents. Martin didn't even say goodbye.
I was all alone. Alone in a room full of people just like me. Crazy, worthless, and oh so confused. We were all very sad and we didn't know what to do.
And I was the worst of them all.
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
I woke up, terrified, and missing the warmth of a person next to me. I groped the sheets beside me to find that Dan wasn't there. He was back at his house, probably waking up and making himself coffee like he did every morning.
I bolted up in the bed and looked around my room. I wasn't in an mental institute. I was at home, in London. Just pathetic little Phil, in his bedroom having stupid nightmares about being crazy. I put on my glasses and sighed.
Then I laughed dryly. I was crazy. And really tired.
Amazing Phil- are you up?
danisnotonfire- yeh. got up really early today.
Amazing Phil- oh. so can i come over now?
danisnotonfire- I guess so.. ill wait at the back door
Amazing Phil- thanks
I got up and didn't even change out of the clothes I slept in. It was sweatpants and a t-shirt. I grabbed my phone. I snuck out of my room, then my house. I started to walk to his house.
I ended up running to my boyfriends'. I already missed him way too much. I was so dependent, but I don't think I could've lived any other way.
I got there in 5 minutes of running. I ran to his back door and I found Dan sitting there with two mugs of something. He set them down on the steps when he saw me.
I ran into his arms, hugging him hard. I felt like I hadn't talked to him for months. He hugged back, confused.
"I'm sorry about yesterday." I told him quietly. He hugged me even tighter.
"Don't say anything. It's okay." He whispered back. I snuggled into him more and just listened to his heartbeat.
We pulled away after a few minutes and Dan got the mugs from the step.
"I made us coffee. Well, I was making myself coffee and then you messaged me." He told me, handing me the mug. I took it gratefully and took a sip. It was really good for my tired self.
"Oh my god, thank you." I mumbled and he led me into the house and up to his bedroom. By this time, I knew everything about this boy's room. If you blindfolded me, I could tell you every single poster, every dent, every tiny off colored spot. It was my home as well as his.
We got up to his room, both drinking our coffees and sighing. I took off my shoes. I sat down on his bed and held the cup with both hands. I positioned myself so my legs were folded on his bed.
"Can I tell you about my dream?" I asked him. He sat down next to me in the same position and nodded.
"It was really scary. I was stuck in a panic attack and I couldn't get out of it. You stopped talking to me, and-" I started to tell him.
"I wouldn't ever do that, you know. Even if you couldn't get out of a panic attack." Dan interrupted.
"Don't lie. Anyways, I couldn't stop shaking and crying. It was like I was going crazy! And my parents took me into an insane asylum and I had to stay there. Martin didn't even say goodbye. And I was so glad when I woke up." I finished.
