Amazing Phil- I finally said it
Rachel Bear- wait, WHAT
Rachel Bear- IT?!
Amazing Phil- yeah i did :D
Rachel Bear- WHAT'D HE SAY
Amazing Phil- he said he loved me more
Rachel Bear- WAIT NO THATS SO CUTE
Rachel Bear- WHAT HAPPENED LEADING UP TO IT OMF
Amazing Phil- he bought me coffee and we went to the bookstore and we were reading harry potter together
Rachel Bear- I CANT YOU GUYS ARE SO ADORABLE
Amazing Phil- i know XD
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"Hello Phil! We haven't seen each other in a while." Dr. Navis greeted me happily. I smiled at her; a real, genuine smile.
"Hi." I shortly replied. She looked extremely happy, even happier than last time. She was progressively getting happier, just like me. Dan was honestly making me happier than I'd ever been. He loved me, and I loved him.
"How've you been?" She asked as I sat down on the couch in her office.
"Honestly, I've been really, really happy." I grinned at the floor. Dan was in my mind, and everything was so much better.
"How's everything going with Dan?" She asked in a friendly way. Maybe there was someone special in her life making her as happy as Dan was making me.
"Really good." I wasn't even bothered that she was asking. We were in the extreme honeymoon stage of the relationship, and nothing could stop me from thinking about him.
"Good, good." Dr. Navis nodded. "Anything you want to talk about? Any.. panicking lately?"
"Yeah, I mean, I'm a little nervous about uni." My smile started to fade a bit. Finalist and non-finalist letters were being sent out in a week, and my mind was going crazy.
"I've only had one panic attack so far, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job at keeping it in." I told her. I hadn't had a panic attack in about 6 months when I had that, so I was really mad at myself.
"Phil, it's not a good idea to keep it in." She said, concerned. I looked down at my hands. I knew that, but it would be awful to keep panicking.
"I know, it would be bad for you to keep panicking, but if you keep it in, you'll go mad." She told me, reading my mind.
"But I don't want to panic." I mumbled. I was almost going to scratch my hand.
Don't panic. No, not yet.
"I know you don't. Don't do it now, but when you need to, let nature run its course. You'll feel a lot better." Dr. Navis said quietly. She obviously knew how to deal with people who had panic attacks.
"I know. I'm just scared I'm not going to get in. If I don't get in, my future is over and I'll have nowhere to go." My voice started to quiet. My breathing was getting heavier and I was sucking in less oxygen. I was scratching my hand subconsciously.
"I'm scared, Dr. Navis." I confessed shakily. I closed my eyes and my body started to shake. I was sobbing silently, it all was happening so fast.
She came over and started to pat my back. She didn't try to stop me, like my parents did. She wanted to help.
"You'll be okay." Dr. Navis whispered. She was the only one I could really talk to. Anyone else would feel bad. Anyone else would hug and we and tell me 'don't do that to yourself. I love you.'
Like that helps at all.
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"Good luck on uni. I'll see you in a few weeks."
I smiled gratefully. I wasn't even ashamed that I'd had a panic attack in front of her. I was glad, in fact. She gave me tips on how to control it, and they were very helpful.
"Thanks. I'll tell you if I get into any of them. Thanks again." I smiled weakly at her. I was planning to meet with Dan at his house, and I didn't know if I was going to go through with it.
"Bye, Phil."
"Bye Dr. Navis."
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
I decided to go to Dan's house anyway, even though I was so exhausted. I told my parents it would be a while until I got home.
I made it there without a coat, just a sweatshirt. It was getting quite warm and it was lifting my mood by the slightest.
I knocked on his door for the millionth time. Dan opened it cheerily like always.
"Hey babe." He greeted me. I normally would've pulled him in for a kiss, but I was too exhausted. Emotionally and mentally.
"Hey." I said, obviously tired as hell.
"Are you okay?" Dan asked, pulling me inside and closing the door.
"Yeah, just tired." I blinked. I was struggling to keep my eyes open at that point, and he could tell.
"You could've canceled, honey. I wouldn't have been mad at you." He chuckled.
"I know, but I didn't want to not see you." I whined. He smiled at me adorably and took off my sweatshirt. I usually would've protested, but I was so goddamn tired.
"You want to go upstairs?" Dan proposed. I nodded sleepily and we walked up the stairs together.
We got to his room and he closed the door. I laid down on his bed and groaned loudly. He giggled a little. I straightened myself out and pulled his covers over me. After a minute, Dan joined me and draped his arm over me. I snuggled into him. He always knew how to make me feel good, even if we weren't talking to each other.
"Goodnight. I love you." I mumbled. He kissed the back of my head as I took off my glasses and laid them on his nightstand.
"I love you." He replied and we both fell asleep cuddling together.
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