"Hey Dr. Navis." I greeted her while walking into the all too familiar office of hers. She smiled at me genuinely. Last time I had seen her, I was happy with Dan. Now I was just confused.
He hadn't shown a single gesture of trying to talk to me. Not a MSN chat, no calls, no knocks at my door. Nothing.
I hated myself for running out on him. I hated myself for leaving him all alone. He had all the power to do what he wanted with his body. He could starve himself, and without me there, there was no one that even knew. No one really cared enough to notice. Except for me.
We only had each other, and if we abandoned one another we wouldn't even make it for a week. My anxiety was at the worst it had ever been, and I had already had 2 panic attacks in the 2 days I'd been alone. It was awful. I was lost.
"Phil?" Dr. Navis called, waving her hands. "Are you listening?"
I shook myself out of my thoughts and looked up at her.
"Huh?"
"I've been asking you how you've been for a few minutes now." She raised her eyebrow at me.
"Right, yeah." I nodded.
"How've you been, then?" She asked me. Oh yeah, I thought and then sighed.
"Awful." I told her, being completely honest.
"What happened?" Dr. Navis inquired, seeming concerned.
"You're not allowed to tell anyone what I tell you, yeah?" I started to quiet myself, even though no one could hear us.
"That's true." She nodded. I continued.
"I found out that, um, Dan has, um, an... eating... disorder?" I whispered extremely quietly. She heard me, but didn't say anything. Just nodded as if to ask me to continue.
"His heart was beating really, really fast and he was pretty out I breath when he was congratulating me on getting into a uni. So I put my hand on his chest, but I almost had to search for it in his shirt. So I lifted up his shirt to find that he had lost a ton of weight." I told her very quietly still.
"And he told me that 'he just wanted to be fit'. So a few days later which was 3 days ago, we had a fight and I went home and searched up on eating disorders and stuff. I'm pretty sure he has anorexia and I don't know what to do." I started to cry again. I was so upset, and I wanted to help him so bad. But I couldn't, because he wouldn't even talk to me. It was all my fault, or at least that's what I thought.
"Has he told anyone?" She asked quietly, starting to write something down on a pad of paper.
"No, just me. And only because I noticed. He's just wearing lots of baggy clothes." I sniffed. I felt really pathetic, crying about another person. But that's how I was. I couldn't see someone cry without me crying, and I couldn't see someone get angry without me getting angry.
"Does he want help?"
"He's denying that he has a problem. He would kill me if he knew I was telling you." I told her. "I just want him to be okay. I can't think about him without thinking that he could starve himself to death."
"And there would be nothing I could do about it."
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
I knocked on Dan's door a few hours later. Dr. Navis said that if he was going to get better, he was going to need my help. That was true. Like I said, we only had each other.
"Hey Phil." Adrian greeted me when he opened the door. I smiled a little when I saw him.
"Hey Adrian. Do you know where Dan is?" I asked, ruffling my hair.
"Yeah, he's up in his room." He said, pulling me into the house. He was so sweet and hugely adorable.
"Thanks." I replied and started to walk to the stairs. I got up to his room and knocked on his door. Loud music was blasting from inside. It was one of the Fall Out Boy albums I had given him for Christmas.
"Mum, I'm doing something!" He yelled at the door.
"It's Phil." I said quietly. The music shut off quickly and the door opened. There stood Dan, looking cute, even though he was wearing a huge baggy flannel shirt.
"I missed you so much." His voice broke as he pulled me in for a hug. I hugged back as hard as I could. It was so nice to finally see him again.
"I love you, and I'm so sorry I walked out." I mumbled into his shoulder. He was hugging me as tight as he possibly could. We stood there, hugging, in the middle of his doorway for about five minutes. I finally pulled away and kissed him on the lips, hard. It pushed him back, and he closed the door with him. We fell back onto his bed, me on top.
We kissed for a while, making up for the weeks that we hadn't. Reunions weren't usually like this, but when you're young and in love- I mean, what else is there to do?
