I was awoken by something moving beside me. I opened my eyes very suddenly. How did I fall asleep with my glasses on? I slowly focused my eyes on the person around me. It was still afternoon, and the sun was still up.
It was Dan. I scrambled an sat up quickly.
Shit! The guy I liked saw me in a vest, that's awful! He probably saw how skinny I was, and was disgusted. Oh no!
I put on my sweatshirt quickly and reached for the notebook. But it wasn't there.
"Hey Phil.." Dan said. I could hear his voice crack, as if he'd been crying. I looked over at him with a panic.
"Did you see a notebook?" I asked in a frenzy. There were a lot of personal things in there, stories about terrible things. Scenes about horrible deaths and sad situations.
"Yeah- is it this one?" He held up my small leather notebook after picking it up from the ground. I grabbed it from him and stuffed it in my pocket.
"Are you okay?" I asked him, seeing him wipe a tear away from his eye.
"No... not really." He chuckled. I scooted over to him. He just choked up a little.
"What happened, Dan?" I whispered sympathetically. I had had a pretty bad day, but seeing Dan cry was the worst thing I'd felt.
"...My parents just told me that they're getting divorced." He sniffled, stifling a sob. I gasped, that was awful.
"It's all my fault! I was pushing it too much, coming out to them. It was totally my fault!" He cried harder. I took him in my arms while he cried, harder and harder.
After a lot of hugging and him crying, he finally calmed down and we sat there for a second in silence. We were laying on our backs, looking up at the sky.
"Why'd you come here?" He asked me after 5 minutes. I looked over at his beautiful face, stained with tears.
"I-I don't know." I didn't feel like opening up to him. He had worse problems than I did. I felt like I was being so petty.
"C'mon. Tell me. We're friends, right?"
Friends. Friends?
Yes, friends.
"I just- I'm just" I started to choke up. I was I supposed to put it?
Dan sat up and came over and laid closer to me. He nodded, as if to say 'It's okay. I'm here.'
"I just really hate myself right now." I whispered. I was hoping he hadn't heard me, but he did.
He didn't say anything, he just hugged me.
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"Do you want to go?" Dan asked me after a few hours. It was getting dark, but I didn't want to go. I knew I would have to, so I nodded my head. I felt more comfortable with Dan that day that I had ever felt with someone. I told him everything while we were laying on the grass. Every secret I ever had, that I didn't even tell Rachel. Everything... except that I had a huge crush on him.
He told me everything too. Embarrassing stories, funny jokes, sad memories. I laughed with him and listened when he needed me to. It was... interesting. He was interesting.
Dan got up and stretched. I stayed on the ground. He came over to me and held out a hand. I took it and he pulled me up with almost no effort. I knew what he was thinking. He's so light.
"Yeah... my parents are probably worrying." I mumbled, embarrassed. I hated how thin I was, and I told him that when we were pouring our feelings out.
"Yeah.. I shouldn't have run away. My brother probably needs me." He explained. His brother was only 12, he must of taken it pretty hard. "But I hadn't, I wouldn't have seen you." He added, all flirty.
"I guess not." I flirted right back. I wasn't very good at it, though. He just laughed and we started to walk. We walked and talked for a little bit. I was so intrigued that I didn't even notice I had taken off my sweatshirt. And he had seen me.
We reached his house in about ten minutes, and it looked quiet and still. I sighed, I didn't want him to leave, but the sun was going down and he needed to.
"Bye." I shyly waved.
"Bye." He said and gave me a long hug. I hugged back tightly as I could.
"You look cute in a vest, by the way." Dan winked at me as he walked into his house.
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
I got into my house, still blushing. Had he really said that?
You look cute in a vest, by the way
Yes he obviously did! It felt so good, but I knew he was lying. I didn't look cute, I looked like a skeleton. But he said I looked cute.
"Phil!" Mum ran up to me and have me a huge hug, a hug only a scared mum can give. I stumbled back. After she let go, I adjusted my glasses that she had set askew.
"What, mum?" I asked in an annoyed teenager voice. Her eyes turned from loving and scared to angry.
"You didn't tell us where you were! You were gone for more than four hours!" She yelled at me as my dad and brother stood awkwardly behind her. I threw my dad a pleading look, but he just shrugged. Thanks Dad I thought. I was starting to get upset.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. I was about to cry at that point. I knew it was wrong not to tell them but I did anyway. Why did I hurt myself like that?
"Honey, it's okay. Just tell us next time." Her voice softened quickly when she saw the tears in my eyes. She knew how fragile I as, and I was grateful that she let me go.
"Okay." I agreed and went upstairs quickly, my whole family staring at me. I needed to call Rachel. I got up to my room and slammed the door, falling on my bed. I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it.
(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)(--)
My parents talked to me later that day.
"Phil? Can we come in?" My dad's voice sounded from outside my room. I looked up from my computer where I was having an MSN chat with Cece.
Amazing Phil- Brb
"Yeah?" I asked, shutting my computer. The door open slowly and I saw my parents come in, smiling extremely falsely.
"Phil? Can we talk?" Mum asked. I nodded, a little creeped out. They say down on my bed and stared at me. I stared at them back, confused of what they wanted.
"You see, we've noticed that you've been acting... differently lately." My dad awkwardly. I just stared at him. I was confused. Acting differently?
"You're not eating... you're been shutting us out." Dad told me. Yeah, I got that. What's so different? I thought.
"Honey, we're sending you to a therapist." Mum blurted out. I stared at her very intensely, horrified.
"No, mum. I'm not going to a therapist." I disagreed, shaking my head. I wasn't going to talk to anybody!
"You don't have a choice, Phil." My mum replied, placing her hand on my knee. I smacked it off. I shook my head rapidly.
"No! Mum, that's not fair!" I whined, getting up. It was so unfair, I should've had an opinion.
"You have an appointment on Saturday." Dad told me. I scoffed.
"Dad, that's tomorrow!" I yelled, knocking over my chair. Anger started to seethe in me. I usually didn't get mad, but this was just too much.
"Just wanted to let you know." Mum said and they got up and left the room. I threw a few pencil at the wall and yelled. I realized that I didn't have a choice, but I locked the door and laid down on my bed and screamed.
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