I'm with you

Chapter 57 Diary

IVAN'S POV

Ilang buwan na ba ang lumipas mula ng maghiwalay kami? Ilang buwang nangungulila ako sa ngiti nya kahit na sabihin pang nasa iisang school kami at nagkikita araw - araw.  Mula noon hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko parin matanggap ang aming pag hihiwalay. Bawat araw mula noon ay para akong pinapatay pero anong aking magagawa kung ang taong mismong aking buhay ay nag pasya. Nagpasyang makipag hiwalay sakin.
Kahit na masakit ay aking tinatanggap dahil tama nga sya. Kung uunahin namin ang kaligayahan namin paano naman ang aming mahal sa buhay? Tama bang hayaan naming masaktan sila kapalit ng aming kasiyahan?

ilang linggo nalang ang itatagal namin sa school na to at gagraduate na kami. Is it the end? The really end for our love.. She will leave after graduation and live away from me.Away to all of us.

                              Away
Can you imagine your life away from your love ones?
Away that brings my heart into pieces even more.
Can I resist all the pain until the end? I really missed her so much but I need to sacrifice my feelings for our families.
I love her so much but I need to hate her when other people's around for us to stay close for sometime.

Does it really need to end? Does she really need to go away? I need her ,she's my life and my everything. But she will never be with me till last.

I need to wake up from this pain , from this nightmare of my life.

I want to come back where we are so inlove into each other. When we can still hold our hands and hug each other. The moment we could share everytime we went to our secret garden. Those moment she always smile brightly and run with the butterflies as if she is in the magic paradise.

How can I go back to that time? That time that we never think who would be hurt and just live each day with the arms of each other. Can somebody told me what to do?
Can somebody let me hug her ones more.
Does it need to buried in hell by asking some evil things just to be with her even it takes my life. My life that is lifeless without her by myside.

"I missed you so much babe.. my life my everyrhing.."

"At kelan ka pa natutuong magsulat ng kakornihan mo Ivan? "Maicy asked when she saw me earlier in the sala.

" stop asking questions Maicy tss.. it's already a year but yet you still here in my house as if your a beggar asking for help." I closed my notebook/diary and stand up.

" na ah that's not the topic Ivan. I thought you're over her.? " she asked.

"I don't owe an explanation your not my mom Maicy just go to the kitchen and cook some breakfast." I commanded her.

" ok fine I will cook. But Ivan don't you think that it's that best way to forget her and your feelings for her? Malapit na ang graduation at alam naman nating lahat na pagkatapos ng graduation ay aalis na sila pabalik ng korea. Wala ng pag asa Ivan mas masasaktan ka lang." She say it without hesitation.

" I knew it already Maicy thanks for your concern but no thanks. Hayaan mo ko sa kung anong gusto kong gawin wag mo nalang sabihin sa iba. Tama ng alam ng lahat na i'm over her."i asked.

" hays. If thats what you want bahala ka. Sana lang makayanan mo Ivan. If hindi mo na kaya andito lang kaming mfa kaibigan mo para tulungan ka. " she hugged me and cry as if na sya ang nasasaktan.

" stop crying Maicy and thanka for everything don't worry I will inlist it to my memo para naman pagkailangan ko ng tulong.. may ipapakita akog proof sayo incase na tumanggi ka." Yinakap ko rin sya sabay kiliti sa kanya.

" hey! Wag ka ngang mangiliti! Tss.. panira moment ka eh sige na magluluto na ko." She wiped her tears and go straight to the kitchen.

" thanks." Bulong ko. Habang nakatingin sa kanyang naglalakad palayo.