Mr Hood - cth

68

Rowan's POV

15 years later

"Don't wait up for me. Session will be a bit longer than usual." I said to Calum before I got out of the car and into the building.

I hadn't been able to tell Calum anything ever since I turned 30. I've just lost it, I lost my will to live.

I walked up to the receptionist who I saw every time I came to my therapist.

"Hey Rowan, 6 o'clock?" She said meaning my appointment.

"Yeah, getting extra use out of this time." I said forcing out a laugh.

"Okay, she's ready for you when ever you are ready to go in." She smiled handing me a card for my next appointment.

I nodded and walked down the hall with my head down.

The door swung open to my therapist Karen.

"Rowan, it's lovely to see you again." She said with a welcoming smile.

"You too." I said before walking in and sitting on a plush love seat.

"Alright," She said sitting in the love seat across from me, "So let's start off with your meds. How are you feeling since we upped your dose?"

"They're doing me some justice. It's made me more motivated to go to my sons soccer games instead of hiding out in the car waiting for Luke to pop up." I said as she wrote down on a pad of yellow lined paper.

"And have you told your husband Calum about this whole Luke situation?" She asked as she always does.

"No, that's a very touchy subject to talk to him about." I said grasping my knees over my army green jeans.

"Hun, you know keeping this from him won't do you any good. In fact you ultimately have the ability to control how he feels about it." She said pointing her black pen at me.

"How?" I said in confusion furrowing my eyebrows.

"You can simply tell him that it is a touchy subject and it's taken a lot for you to say it to him. This whole thing with Luke isn't healthy for you to just keep in your head. It can lead to harming anybody, physically or emotionally. Becoming hostile over something like this is very common." She said raising her eyebrows.

Even if she seems like she might be scolding me, this is where I feel safe.

"How would I harm anyone? I love almost everyone I know." I said shaking my head.

"The main thing is, you don't want to take it out on your son. For generations children have been affected by what is affecting their parents. Your husband seems to be well and sane but we need to make sure you are too."

"My son is only 11 years old, he knows when his mother is in deep pain. He reminds me every day," I said starting to tear up, "To be happy and, I try."

She handed me a tissue box with a sad look.

"Be healthy for your son, and especially for you. Your son, he-he seems to cherish you." She said putting her hands flat on her note pad.