The phoenix's hypothesis - Book 1 (MxM 18+)

Chapter 17: We need to talk!

Ethan, Sat Jan 24th 2015

Cuddling with my boy after a rough and intense sex session is extremely nice, but we need to address the problem from earlier. When he came back from his meeting with Zach, I must admit I was a bit nervous. I was also afraid he hadn't respected the rules since he reeked of cigarette, but a quick count of his pack showed me he hadn't messed up. I was also relieved when he told me he hadn't changed his mind on the test week. I still have to convince him to sign a contract at the end of the week though.

I had decided to play a bit with him, and keep him on edge all afternoon. When he talked back at his apartment, it was a perfect occasion to use the plug I had brought with me and keep on teasing him. He has been so naturally respectful since the beginning of his training, I couldn't let this first slip pass. At the same time, I wasn't going to spank him for a little sarcasm. He was much more responsive than I thought he would be, however, and we clearly went past his limits.

Except he didn't safeword. I could see he was having too much of a hard time from the way tears kept sparkling in his eyes, or when he had so much difficulty to walk. I didn't act on it and pushed him until the end to see if he would eventually use his escape words, but no he didn't. He finally relaxed a bit in the playroom, otherwise I wouldn't have fucked him like I did. I know it's a common flaw in new Submissives, to go way over their limits to try and please their Dominants, but I need to trust him to use those little words when it's necessary.

"We need to talk, Anthony," I say eventually. It has to be a serious discussion without the Dom/Sub relationship. That's why I'm using his first name, to make him feel like he can talk freely. I told him we would have one of these conversations every day anyway. This is supposed to help him relax, but it has the exact opposite effect. "Why are you tensing up like this?"

"Nothing!" he mumbles.

"This is the last time I'm reminding you about the rule concerning honesty!" I threaten. He sighs.

"Are you going to break up with me?" he asks in a small voice after a moment. This again? How many times will I have to tell him that I want him!

"No, because you are beautiful, smart and the most wonderful Sub I've ever had." There! That should comfort him for a bit. "Now dress up and come to the living room with me, we need to have our daily talk. The one I mentioned during dinner last night!"

I really have to call Aiden for his mom's number. She is a very good therapist, and completely open to BDSM. Aiden is very lucky to have parents who never judged him for being gay, then being into the lifestyle. They completely accept him as he is. If only I could say the same about my old man...

Anyway, I hope she can help my boy's trust issues and self-loath. He also needs some professional help to heal from his traumas. I'm not sure it's normal he still has trouble sleeping or nightmares after all this time. It seems like I can help with those particular issues right now, but I'm not naive enough to believe they have just disappeared for good. He agreed to it when I told him the rules, so if at the end of this week, he wants to go for the long run, I must have an appointment ready for him.

My boy walks hesitantly in the living room and takes a seat on the couch, next to me. each of us is sitting on one end of the sofa, facing each other.

"Anthony," I begin, "as I told you yesterday, we need to have regular discussions like this one, where we can both freely express our feelings about what happened in the past few days. It is especially important for you, as you may feel like you can't speak your mind sometimes, if we are in the middle of a scene for instance. The rule about honesty is crucial during those talks. You will never be punished for anything you say, as long as you express it in a respectful manner. I will adjust the manner I exert my dominance on you from what you tell me during these conversations, so if you are not completely truthful, I may end up hurting you physically, or worse, emotionally. Is all of this clear?"