OC Reviews [CLOSED]

Gwendolyn Jane Tatum

Submitted by: @astronomys; for some reason the link won't work :(

Reviewed by: thief_queen

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Fandom : Harry Potter
Ooo, I love this fandom.

Name : Gwendolyn Jane Tatum (goes by Gwen)
I love her name! Her name reminds me of Gwen from the BBC show Merlin. :)

Age : 15

Race : African American

Backstory : When Gwen first arrived at Hogwarts she was a little ball of energy. She was nearly bouncing off the castle walls with excitement. However, as teachers commonly told her to be quiet and older students condescended her with racist and rude remarks, she became more introverted and reserved. But, soon she made friends that helped her be herself again. And in third year she was back to that little ball of energy again, except this time much taller (and would become beater for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team), and didn't let what others said effect her as much. Now, in fifth year, she is popular and her personality has grown, and though others' remarks get her down at times, she has loyal friends to get her through it all.
I honestly love how realistic this backstory is, it really reminds me of my own in a way.

Talents : Gwen is extremely skilled in Charms class and is very perceptive of people's feelings
I'm glad that your character is perceptive of others' feelings, it should add a nice touch to her identity.

Sexuality : straight

Friends :  Vivian Valacour (OC), Amelia Bones, Edgar Bones, and James Potter (eventually)

Significant Other : Amos Diggory (for a short time), James Potter (although it doesn't end happily)
I love how she dates more than one person during the story, for me it seems realistic for a 15 year old to do. I'm also pretty glad that her relationship doesn't end happily (strange, I know) because it will be a good chance to add more character to her. Just make sure you write it well, or it could seem like a Mary Sue breakup.

Appearance : she's pretty tall, and muscular since she plays beater in Quidditch. She has curly black hair that can get extremely frizzy, but she doesn't mind. She has chocolate colored skin and greenish yellow eyes. She has an oddly shaped birthmark on her stomach and light freckles on her arms and face.
Honestly, I think she could be one of the prettiest characters I've seen. I love that she's got frizzy hair and freckles.

Distinguishing features : you'll be able to recognize her by her huge curls immediately, and those eyes that remind you of cat eyes. Her eyebrows are also pretty prominent.
I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE HER EYEBROWS PROMINENT, THOSE ARE ALMOST NEVER MENTIONED.

Habits : drinking tea, swearing (although she is trying to cut down on that), biting her nails, regularly playing Quidditch
Haha, I like that she's trying to cut back on her swearing.

Self-confidence level : Gwen slowly learns to love herself, flaws and all, and though she is confident and independent, she still remains humble.
She seems so sweet.

Ruled by emotion or logic? : definitely emotion
Relatable.

Introvert or Extrovert : Gwen is an extrovert, but occasionally will have introvert qualities (especially when she is stressed)
Also extremely relatable.

Strengths : open-minded, curious, observant, good at communicating, energetic
Aww, sweet girl.

Weaknesses : not very practical, difficulty with focusing, overthinks things, gets stressed easily, very emotional
WHY IS SHE ME. (I love that you said she's not very practical, like honestly me too.)

Extra : her patronus is a hedgehog and she's in Hufflepuff
WHAT A CUTIE. <3

Constructive Criticism: I can honestly say that there's not too much for me to give some criticism on, I really like your character. If anything, the only thing I'd want to make sure of is that her flaws/weaknesses should continually be brought out in the story in a very realistic way. (But that's if I'm being nit picky.)

Intrigue: 95%, I'd love to see where her story goes.