OC Reviews [CLOSED]

Apophis

Submitted by: WriterOfDreams25

Reviewed by: thief_queen

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Fandom or original work: original work

Note: This is one of my first oc's ever, so it's really cringy. Ik just want to know if it is as bad as I think, or worse.
I don't know if I should be scared or not haha.

Name: Apophis
Neat name! I've never heard it before!

Plot: Tbh, he was made for an rp. Ik did consider writing a fantasy story in which he'd be a side character, but that never got somewhere. I mean, honestly, a ragtag bunch of misfits out to defeat the evil sorcerer...bit predictable, right? The only twist was that they were actually the only ones left to save the rest (who were imprisoned): the rebellious princess, a stableboy, the court wizard apprentice & a retired castle guard. Apophis would have been the (somewhat unwilling) guide as the evil overlord castle was right above and connected to his caves.
Huh... interesting plot. It's kind of confusing the way you worded it, so to me it appears as though it has quite a few plot holes, but I don't know the whole thing.

Age: He isn't sure. Around 20, perhaps?
Oh dang.

Race: Basilisk
... wait what.

Background: As not many people know, Basilisks come to be when a toad hatches a chicken's egg. It is very common for Basilisks not to know any others of their species. Apophis didn't mind. He just lived his life, in the multitude of caves that were (and still are) his. He rarely left them, only to hunt (if what wandered into his caves wasn't enough). At one point, a group of hunters came to kill him (he didn't do anything to truly deserve it, but who trusts a monster whose looks can kill?). When they came, Apophis was asleep. A falcon of one of the hunters pecked out his eyes. He was still strong enough to fight them off. Now he really never leaves his caves.
Ohhh so he's blind. Interesting background, I'm intrigued.

Talents/skills: Apophis relies on his smell, hearing and touch to navigate his caves and catch prey. He doesn't know the outside world that well, so he can not do it there. He knows his caverns like the back of his hand. He is very poisonous as well.
Pretty neat skills.

Sexuality: Straight

Significant other: none.

Appearance: Humanoid, with a snake lower body. His scales are a brilliant, emerald green. His hands have sharp claws. He has two sharp teeth capable of injecting venom.
Oooo, I am very interested by this character.

Distinguishing features: His scars, especially the ones in the eye area, but also the numerous smaller scars, most sustained when he was still regularly walking into walls. Obviously, his tail is quite eye-catching too.
Yeah, I bet the scars around his eyes would be very distinguishing.

Habits: Flicking his tongue, curling his tail around people. He does it even more if it unsettles them. Also, he usually keeps a hand on a wall, for easier orientation.
ME TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE.

Self-confidence level: It's not that high, but he acts confident, extremely so, to intimidate everyone. He can't have anyone know he's weaker. He is very sarcastic as well. When he has established you are not a threat to him, he is actually quite affable.

Emotion or logic: 25:75. He usually judges by logic, but emotion gets him conflicted sometimes. Mostly when he allows himself to sympathize with what he intends to be his meal or if he gets involved with things beyond his control.
Aw, poor thing.

Introvert or Extrovert: Introvert, mostly. Doesn't mind company, though.

Strengths: Hunting sneakily/creeping up on things, smart, determined.

Weaknesses: Unfamiliar territory, multiple opponents, seeing related things, such as guessing how someone feels by their expression/body language.
Oh true.

Constructive Criticism: Hmm, there's really not much for me to comment on. The plot confused me a bit, but that's not related to the character.

Intrigue: 78%