OC Reviews [CLOSED]

Elizabeth Holmes

Submitted by: Anonymous

Reviewed by: thief_queen

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Fandom: Merlin ;)
YASSS.

Name: Elizabeth Holmes but her friends call her Liz
Cute! I love her last name.

Age: Somewhere in her early  twenties , like 23-24
Perfect age range for Merlin, in my opinion!

Race: British

Personality: It takes time for her to warm up to people. She's kind once she knows you good. She can be manipulative. Sassy. Rude sometimes. Honest. Can hold her temper good but when she's irritated by someone she has a love/hate relationship she can burst so to speak.
Manipulative is a quality I haven't seen yet, I think it's a good one for some characters. Hopefully you can write it well!

Background: Liz has a past that is quite a mystery.

She is a witch, born with the magic unlike many others, except for Merlin.

She's what you can call an ex-lady. Her father was a lord in a kingdom until it was brought to destruction  causing her parents to die.

'You can't let them find out about you. They' re always watching. You need to hide where they never expect to find you.' is one of the things her mother would say before she died.

From then on she fled  all her life.

That is how she ends up in Camelot.

It is also the place where her old friend Gwen lives. She met her in one of the villages she lived in in the past.
Hmm, personally, I don't like the dead parents trope. Feels kind of forced in this situation, as if it's used for romantic effect.

Sexuality: Straight

Friends: Gwen, Merlin and some love/hate relationship with Arthur later on they are friends and start asking themselves if they feel more for each other or not. They struggle with their feelings.

Significant other: Arthur Pendragon
GET IT, GIRL.

Appearance: Her face claim is Shailene Woodley cause I just love her in the divergent movies .

So she's blond and has dark brown eyes. She has average height .

Distinguishing Features: She does have this scar on her back from when her kingdom was destroyed . She was running out of the castle when a wooden pilar fell down behind her, burning her back quite large. It also scratched her shoulder but that scar goes unnoticed mostly.
Hm. I don't know about this one. Seems way too dramatic with the pillar falling and the burn. Especially that it's just a burn scar and not a major scar from the actual scratch.

Habits:

- She is an experienced huntress with bow and arrow and sometimes has small knives hid in her boots.

- She can easily beat Arthur at a sword fight (which she did in the introduction ;) ) she can use her magic quite good but it goes much better when she and Merlin get that spell book from Gaius.

- She has this nervous tic that she cooks a lot but she mostly goes hunting to calm her nerves. She is also good in hand-to-hand combat. She is very tactical , smart and strong. She's also good at putting sarcastic remarks in conversations at the perfect time. Which she does a lot.

- She's a strawberry addict which is quite funny cause I am crazy for strawberries too 🤣
Honestly, I love that she's skilled, but I think she's skilled in too many things. Like, she's an experienced huntress, can easily beat Arthur in a sword fight (which, is very hard to do, mind you), and can use her magic well.

Mental illnesses: None

Self confidence level: Normal

Ruled by emotion/logic or a mix?: Depends on the situation really .

Introvert or extrovert: Introvert. Like I said it takes time for her to warm up and start to like people.
This conflicts with what you said earlier about her being sassy and sometimes rude. Especially her being manipulative??

Strengths: Her magic, her fighting skills of hand-to-hand combat  and her sword fighting and her bow and arrow precision.
As stated earlier, I feel like that's too strong of a combination.

Weaknesses: That people who hate magic find our she's a sorceress and kill her.
That's not really a weakness, that's an enemy.

Losing the people she cares about all over again and if villians use them against her .

Constructive Criticism: Alright. I don't want to sound harsh, because I really do like your character. She's just way too overpowered. She can do so many things really well, but has absolutely no weaknesses.

If I was to fix it, I'd either get rid of her amazing sword skills or her huntress abilities. On another note, I'd change the story of the scarring on her back, it seems unrealistic and forced for dramatic effect.

Intrigue: 74%, due to inaccuracies with scarring on back and overpowered skills and abilities.