OC Reviews [CLOSED]

Pharess Takura Yakuri

Submitted by: @YamiRyou666

Reviewed by: thief_queen

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Original & fandom

Name- Pharess Takura Yakuri

Age- 17

Plot- Pharess and her twin Ren come from another realm called Ishioka. they lived in the thief town of Kuru Eruka, situated 2 miles inland on top of a jackpot of sapphires and black diamonds. They lived with their mum, Sari and their dad, Tekia. When they were growing up, the emperor, Urushira, had waged war against the Gods in an effort to gain more power. Their village was one of the many that got caught in the middle of the war. The town's people always had ways of keeping safe during battles, but one battle in particular caught them off guard. Unfortunately, it was also the biggest and most destructive of all of them. This caused the villagers to flee for their life, many of which, were trapped by flames or blasted by the attacks thrown to the desert land by the Gods. This was when they were merely 5. During the chaos, Pharess became trapped in her friend's (Akila age 4) house after, Akila's older brother (Oru age 8) had been stuck in their father's room, trying to save him. She and Oru were trapped between two burning piles of debris, whilst the sandstone roof collapsed over them. when a fairly large hole gets blown in the wall by Atokiusa the goddess of fire and combustion, as she is seen running past shortly after. Pharess told Oru to go first, knowing of his claustrophobia (They had less than 2 metres of space from side to side). When she tried to get to the opening, part of the roof along with a burning wooden support beam fell on her and knocked her to the ground, crushing her left leg, arm and most of her back, knocking her out.

As she lost conscious she faintly saw Oru running off to find Ren, who had run into the town's mine for safety with Tekia, Sari and Akila. She closed her eyes and accepted fate. Oru came back with Tekia and Ren. Climbing through the hole, he and Ren were able to lift the fallen debris off her and get her out, just in time before the entire building collapsed. After heading back to the mine, Sari led the five down to a large room 50 metres below the surface. There, she was Sed the last of her energy and life force, combined with Tekia's manipulation of the shadows, they cast a portal and told Akila, Oru and Ren to go through the portal, taking Pharess with them to the realm on the other side. As time went on Akila and Oru went their separate ways, leaving Ren and Pharess alone in their new realm. 14 years later, the twins were found in an alley by Lula and Willow when they were walking home from school. They brought them home and became apart of the Cri family. What happened to Tekia and and the rest of the village is still a mystery to the twins, and they hope that someday, they will be able to find out the outcome of that fateful night.
Dang... that's a lot to have happened within like 24 hours.

Race- desert/shadow elf mix and half blood

Talents/skills- can play piano really well. Is a very talented swords woman. Can really high and does all of her battling on her right foot. Is fairly light in weight. Has an over obsession with sugar.

Sexuality- straight like a 30cm ruler

Appearance- long pure white hair that goes halfway down her back, bright crimson eyes. Her skin has almost no pigment. Is 167cm tall. When she talks you can see her fangs.
Is the no pigment in the skin thing part of her race or it just specialized towards her? Because if it's just specialized towards her I'm really not that into it.

Distinguishing features- she has a scar under her left eye. Her left foot bends inward when she walks and stands. From her left leg to left arm there is a burn mark/scar that looks like burning fire.
I'm glad the scars are there from that night, if there weren't any, that would've been so unrealistic.

Habits:

- will often put like 20+ teaspoons of sugar in her tea. Will randomly try climbing things.

- has a tendency to drink innocents' blood (mainly a character called a Ryou Bakura).

Mental Illnesses- slight insanity, nothing like Melvin's though...

Self confidence lvl- 30 - 45%
Hmm, not too high, I hope it'll come into play in the story.

Ruled by 45% emotion 45% logic 10% pressure
Relatable.

Introvert

Strengths- using great swords and bows. Using dragon cards in duel monsters. Using magic and balancing on her right foot. Her love for her cards.

Weaknesses- the tips of her ears are very sensitive to touch. Any excessive pressure or force on her left arm or leg. Family. Her love for her cards. Curiosity. Her stubbornness.
I bet that love for her cards will get her into some deep trouble, won't it.

Other- has to wear the boys school uniform due to losing a bet against her adopted sister. Is afraid of thunder & lightning, her past, and being scolded by her sisters. Has an irrational fear of affection. Loves to steal. Doesn't know how to use a phone. Hates people who act like they're a king/queen and royal families in general, there is an exception with the royal family of Camelot.

She has a fear of falling objects.

Extra: Has Black dragon wings and tail that appear by her will. The left wing is badly damaged and bent down in an inward way. She usually doesn't use them unless it's an absolute emergency as the damage only allows so much height and distance of flight.
I am sooo glad you're keeping the use of wings limited, it really adds a realistic touch.

Constructive Criticism: Not too much for me to comment on. I guess I'd just say that since you made her an introvert with low self-confidence, don't make her go throwing insults around. I see that a lot on Wattpad and it ticks me off sooooo much.

Intrigue: 80%