OC Reviews [CLOSED]

Fione Dao Farfalla

Submitted by: Aries15Excalibur

Reviewed by: thief_queen

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Original work

Name: Fione Dao Farfalla

Plot: On one weekend Fione and her friends go on a hike together and end up discovering an ancient abandoned, and previously undiscovered city underneath the mountain. They do their best to study it without disturbing or revealing it.
Oooh, this plot seems really fun to write. I love that it's not too crazy or anything like that.

Age: 16
That's how old I am :)

Race: Half Nordic (white), half Taiwanese

Background: Comes from a middle class family consisting of her mom, dad. She has two older brothers, both of whom are in college. Had a very average and nice childhood.
Personally, I love that she doesn't have a fancy, complex background. I love that she could be anyone.

Talents/Skills: Fashion, complaining, skiing
Complaining... me too.

Sexuality: (Mostly) Straight

Significant Other: A boy named Abel Thompson
Aww how cute! I love that his name is Abel.

Appearance: Short curly hair that is naturally brown, but she dyed it ginger. It's growing in at the roots. Dark brown eyes and slightly tanned skin with a few awkward tan lines. 5'5 and 150 lbs. Has a rounded face, a button nose, and slightly squinty eyes.
I absolutely adore how you added the awkward tan lines and her natural hair color growing in at the roots.

Distinguishing features: Squinty eyes, legendary butt.
Amazing, love that last one.

Habits: Humming, picking scabs, twirling hair
I like how one of her habits is humming. Just don't overkill it.

Mental Illnesses: ADHD
Ah yes. One of my dear friends has ADHD, she's an amazing person.

Self-confidence level: A solid 11/10
I LOVE THIS. We need more characters with a high self confidence.

Ruled by Emotion or Logic?: Definitely emotion
Me too.

Introvert or extrovert: Only introverted around people she doesn't know
Relatable.

Strengths: Mediating arguments, compromising, being positive
Are there going to be a lot of arguments in this story? If so, does she have to pick a side? A decent amount of conflict is healthy for a good story.

Weaknesses: Logic or strategy, directions, afraid of the dark
Oh dear. Tough for exploring a city buried beneath a mountain.

Other notes: Is known as a Primmadonna and nicknamed Princess. Is a history buff. Loves all dogs and must pet every dog
DO THEY HAVE A GROUP DOG????

Constructive Criticism: Not too much to criticize on, if anything, it seems as though you're going for an awkward character(?) and if that's not written correctly it could seem forced. Best of luck!

Intrigue: 87%