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When I knocked on the bedroom door in Shawn's condo, there was no answer yelled back.
Shawn and I had a argument a couple days ago about how we were ruining our un-official relationship by dating other people and constantly trying to make each other jealous. All of the points that were made were all 100% accurate but of course we didn't want to admit that at the time.
However, I had decided to be the bigger person and apologise; even though my pride was begging me not to. Thank god I had a spare key to his condo or else I wouldn't be in here trying to apologise and my pride would probably be getting stronger if that happened.
"Shawn?" I called out gently. I didn't want to just walk into his bedroom; that was his own private space and after having walked in on Shawn having many multiple intimate relations with both girls and his own hand, I didn't want to risk walking in on any more.
"I'm in the kitchen!" How I had managed to walk past the kitchen and not hear him in there was beyond me.
Maybe he was trying to avoid me and put off this confrontation for as long as he possibly could. He's probably hiding behind the counters so I can't see him.
"Hey." He wasn't hiding behind the counters when I walked into the kitchen. Instead, he was sitting at the island on one of the stools and motioned for me to sit on the one beside him with a caring smile.
"Hi." My voice came out as a whisper and I mentally scolded myself for sounding so weak when I hadn't even said a full sentence yet.
"You okay?" Shawn was acting so sincere and as if we hadn't even had that argument a couple days ago and it was kind of a good thing but also bad at the same time. "You look really sick, actually."
Yeah, sick of this un-Official relationship and the constant jealousy competition.
"I've not slept the last couple days." I shrugged my shoulders and sat beside him, picking at the red nail polish that Shawn had used to paint my nails the night of our argument.
Shawn nodded and let the room fall silent. Clearly he wasn't going to make any progress towards sorting out our problems and it would have to be me who done so; much to my pride's dismay.
"I came over to talk to you about what happened the other day." Shawn's attention was settled upon me once again, pleading me through his eyes to keep talking. "With the argument and stuff."
"I want to be the first to say that I'm sorry." His sudden apology took me by surprise and I stared at him confused. "And that I know what I said during that argument really hurt you. I know because I've honestly never seen you as upset as you were that night in the whole three years we've been friends."
The room fell silent again when he finished his apology. Neither of us knew what to do so we looked around the room, the thoughts in our heads running haywire.
"I'm gonna be honest and say that I didn't expect you to apologise so quickly. In fact, I didn't think you would apologise at all."
"Well someone had to do it first. And I know how much pride you have so it wasn't gonna be you who spit it out first." He joked and nudged my shoulder while sending me a teasing smile for me to return.
"That's half true. I did come here after all and that's a big step for toning down my pride, eh?"
"You're improving? I'm proud." Shawn joked again and for a moment I had completely forgotten about the argument we had; it was like we were back to normal again. "Seriously though, this un-official relationship is so fucked up; Especially the jealousy competing."
"I hate it." I agreed although I immediately regretted doing so when I saw the hurt expression on Shawn's face. "I meant I hate the jealousy competition thing and the un-Official part; not the whole relationship itself."
"I've got something really important I need to tell you. But you gotta promise me you won't, like, freak out or interrupt me when I tell you."
"Promise." I took his pinky finger and locked it with mine in a pinky promise; childish I know but it was a genuine sign of trust we had always done since the beginning of our friendship. "Pinky promise."
"I really really like you. And I actually want to be with you." His words took me by surprise and I immediately became speechless. "I know if we do date it'll be really difficult because I'll be touring and stuff but I want to try and make it work."
"I'm so glad you said that. You've just put my own thoughts and feelings into words."
The biggest smile I had only ever saw Shawn wear when he was performing crept onto his face and he pulled me to stand between his legs as he hugged me tightly.
"So will you be mine? Officially?" I nodded against him and mumbled a quiet yet loud enough for him to hear yeah. "Want to know a secret?"
"Sure." I replied as I pulled away from the hug but not away from my position between his knees.
"I knew you were the one for so, so long."
"Really? How'd you know?"
"Because I feel the same way about you as I feel about music."
