Imagine This / S.M

Christmas Date

It was no secret that Shawn and Hailey Baldwin were getting extremely close the past couple of months or so. But, what was a secret, was Shawn and I's relationship. A relationship that had lasted 18 months, keep in mind. That's almost two whole years.

Shawn had returned home from finishing his year long Illuminate World Tour almost a week ago and so far, since he's been home, I've saw him once.

We were supposed to be moving in together again after a rocky argument we had a few weeks back about him and Hailey which resulted in me leaving. I left, then came back, we had another argument and I left again.

When the tour finished and he returned home, he stopped by my best friends apartment where I was staying and we resolved our problems and decided that we'd move back in together. However, I was seriously beginning to doubt that it would be happening any time soon.

Because Shawn and I's relationship was very much a secret, no one knew about me or was able to tag me in anything on social media about my boyfriend; although, you're damn right that I saw everything.

I saw Shawn and Hailey at the Daniel Ceasar concert the other night. I saw how they were close and cuddled up, looking like they were having the time of their lives while I sat in my current home (my best friends spare bedroom) worrying and panicking because I thought that I had done something that made Shawn not want to see or speak to me.

I saw Shawn and Hailey going in to a small, quiet food place together for dinner, trying to disguise themselves the best that they could while I was across the road, coming out of the supermarket after buying three tubs of ice cream to eat at home while I cried in bed over the boy I loved the most and felt sorry for myself.

I then saw Shawn and Hailey while I was at the Christmas markets with his own mother and sister because, as far as they and myself knew, I was still Shawn's girlfriend. Trust me when I say this, his mom and sister were just as confused as myself when we saw Shawn and his new girl roaming around as though him and I were nothing.

And then I saw photos Shawn and Hailey all over social media hugging in Toronto, at the Christmas markets, having people take pictures of them two together all lovey dovey and full of smiles.

And that was the tipping point for me. I'd had enough.

I texted Shawn and asked if it was okay for me to come over to his condo to talk and, of course, I got no reply. I called twice and, again, no reply. So, the only way to get him to talk to me was by just turning up and giving him no choice.

"Y/N? Hi, baby." He answered the door to our once shared apartment with nothing but confusion on his features. "I wasn't expecting you to come over."

"Well, maybe if you actually spoke to me once in a while you wouldn't be so surprised."

"Oh, I lost my phone when I was out at the Christmas markets with-" I cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"With Hailey? Yeah, I know. I saw you with her." I expected my voice to come out strong and confident but, instead, it came out rather soft and quiet.

"Wha- how?" He stumbled over his words. "Wait! Come in please."

I hastily accepted the offer and walked in to the condo that I once shared with Shawn and that I once called home.

I walked in to the living room, seeing blankets and clothes scattered across the floor for god knows what reason.

"Kitchen." Was all I said with tear filled eyes as I pointed in that direction.

I certainly did not want to sit in a room that clearly held my cheating boyfriend and his mistress who, for all I knew, could have still been in the same house.

We sat on the stools at the island on opposite ends for the sole reason being that I wanted to be as far from him as possible right now and I doubt he wanted to be near me when he still had her touch and her smell still lingering on his body.

"Your mom and Aaliyah had planned a girls day with me the same day you planned your Christmas date with Hailey. And, like I just said, if you spoke to me once in a while then maybe you would have known my plans for that day and maybe you could have avoided being caught cheating by your girlfriend and your own mom and sister."

"Y/N." My name left his lips through a sigh and I almost felt bad for him as I saw the tinge of guilt in his hazel brown eyes.

"What Shawn? Did you not think that I would find out?" His silence to my question was the only answer that I needed. "You're Shawn fucking Mendes! You've got eyes on you 24/7. You breathe and it's in the news for gods sake! What makes you think that you and her having the time of your lives on a Christmas date wouldn't be posted everywhere?"

"I just didn't think." He honestly looked like he wanted to cry but, really, it should be me who's ready to break at the seams and not him. "I don't know what I was doing."

"Clearly." My voice cracked as I said one simple word. "I just can't believe you would actually think you wouldn't get caught."

He kept silent.

"Just answer these questions before I leave; was it worth it?"

"What? The cheating or our relationship?" He quizzed.

"Both."

"Our relationship was more than worth it, I promise you that. But, I just wish that things had worked out differently. I wish I didn't cheat and went around it the right way." At least he didn't lie to me.

"That's all I wanted to know." I stood up quietly with the tears that were previously only threatening to spill actual pouring from my eyes. "I'm sorry we met at the wrong time and I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. I would say I'll come get my stuff later but we both know nothing of mine is here anymore."

And with that being said, I left my whole life and my whole world behind.