**this book does not and will not have triggering content. Anything that mentions or has anxiety or panic attacks in it will be warned at the beginning**
THIS BOOK HAS BEEN COMPLETED. I HAVE A NEW BOOK OF SANDERS SIDES ONESHOTS THAT YOU CAN ALSO RE...
Virgil wasn't expecting to hear anybody awake at the time he was up. It wasn't unusual for him to be up at unreasonable hours, but the others tended to go to sleep at least before one in the morning.
It was surprising to hear noise coming from Roman's room-even more surprising as it sounded like he was crying. Of course, being Thomas' anxiety meant he worried over everything, so even though he really didn't want to disturb the other side he knew he would worry too much if he didn't check to be sure everything was okay. He was sure that he was probably just hearing things, and that Roman was asleep and perfectly fine, but he found himself peering into his room to check anyways.
He was surprised to find the lights on, and after a second of getting used to the light after being in the dark for so long he could the the prince sitting inside. He was in his bed, knees tucked into his chest with an arm wrapped around himself, one hand covering his mouth to block any sound, tears falling from his eyes. Virgil immediately was concerned, wondering what could have possibly upset him.
"Roman..?" He called out, his concern obvious. He saw Roman freeze, slowly looking over at him.
"O-oh," He wiped furiously at his eyes, a futile attempt to hide what Virgil had already seen. "Hello, Virgil. I'm sorry. Did... did I wake you?"
Virgil shook his head, stepping further into the room and frowning at Roman. "No, you didn't. Don't worry. Something... wrong?"
Roman sighed, glancing away from Virgil, and shrugging. "I don't know. It's silly. You don't have to stay in here and talk to me, I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?" Virgil questioned. He stepped up next to Roman, touching his shoulder comfortingly. "You can talk to me. I won't make fun of you, you know. Just worried."
Roman stared at the wall for a while, unable to hide a few tears that still fell. He sniffled, wiping his eyes again. "I'm... a bad person, aren't I?"
Roman's question came out of nowhere, shocking Virgil. Roman thought he might be a bad person? Of all things he could have said, this was the least expected.
"What?" Virgil asked, stunned. "Of course not. What makes you say that?"
"Lots of things. I mean, for starters I... I hurt you. I was constantly awful to you, calling you names and excluding you." Roman started, still unable to face Virgil. "I've hurt the others too before. I... I feel like I constantly let Thomas down. Like I let all of you down."
He stayed quiet for a moment, covering his mouth again as more and more tears fell.
"I failed everyone. I'm not a good person. I never have been." He whispered, drawing in a shaky breath and closing his eyes.
Virgil stood quietly beside him for a moment, feeling unsure of what to do. After a moment of hesitation he sat next to Roman on the bed, wrapping his arms around him in a hug.
"You're not a bad person," he muttered. "Sure, you've done some really shitty things, in the past. Lately you've been doing your best to be better. I've noticed you making an effort, and that's what matters, Roman."
While he was talking Roman sat silently, taking in what he said. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around Virgil to return the hug, and Virgil continued on with what he was saying.
"You definitely haven't let anyone down. Thomas even called you his hero, so what makes you think you've let him down? We all care about you, Roman. I.. care about you." Virgil drew in a shaky breath, and continued. "You're trying your best, and you're doing just fine."
He held Roman tighter, hoping he knew how much he cared about the Royal. Roman held him back, a tiny smile on his lips.
"...Thanks, Virgil." He said simply, not knowing how else to express his gratefulness. Virgil smiled too, nodding.
"No problem, Roman."
Guess who's sick again, ahaha
I was planning on being asleep a while ago but my stomach was really hurting and keeping me awake so I started writing this cause if I'm gonna be up I can at least be productive. Annnnd it's hurting again great looks like I'm not sleeping tonight
(Ahaha Oliver's sad what a fucking surprise) (mentioning abuse and venting sorry) So I have a question. Is it... bad of me to feel uncomfortable when people say things like "I'm not attracted to guys but you're cute"? Like. I get that's a weird thing to make me uncomfortable but I do have a reason okay (which basically is, an abusive shitty ex used to say things like "you should feel special I don't ever like guys" and basically never even really treated me like a guy? It's hard to explain but they just... I know they never really saw me as a dude)
Is that bad??? Idk. Ugh. I've been thinking about that stupid situation again, it makes me so anxious and scared. What if they ever tried to talk to me again, or what if I ever date someone again and they're just like that??? I'm sad and scared and I really just want someone to care about me for real who understands why I'm not super trusting of people and UGH HOW COME EVEN WHEN THEYRE GONE THEYRE STILL FUCKING UP MY WHOLE LIFE WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
anyways. I'm gonna hope my stomach stops hurting so I can sleep(and if I can't maybe I'll upload again?). Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. *hands you a ring pop through the screen and also hugs you if you need it(also kinda cause I need it lol)*
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