You're My Life, Sir! *COMPLETED*

Chapter28

5 years later.
London, UK.

I looked out of the window, it was all dark and cold. It's 7.00am and I want to get back in the bed but god I can't. I have to go get ready for the office. I get up from the bed and walked in front of the mirror.
I can hear the chattering of birds. There is a sparrow who always hit himself in my window because it's made up of mirror and he always sees his reflection. I feel bad for him sometimes but I can't do anything with that. I looked in the mirror and saw my face, it's not like it is used to be anymore. It's tired and down it feels like I haven't seen the old Shana from years. I stood there looking at myself and then the pictures of me and Robert hanging on the wall. Whenever I see them I feel an ache in my heart. Nothing is same as it used to be. I'm here, standing in an apartment of London far away from my old life. I don't know what has happend, I can't even imagine that how time flew. It's true that people don't realize the importance of the person when they're with you but when they left, it hurts like hell. Only then you come to know their importance in your life, Only then you miss them, Only then you cry like a kid for them. It's been 3 years of our marriage and 2 years of our divorce. Everything was so perfect untill I became the most selfish women on the whole planet.
I could've had the perfect life, the perfect family, the perfect husband but I ruined everything. I used to love him and I still do but I don't know how this all happend, how we got separated and flew far away from each other. I still remember the day when he cried like a baby in front of me and I stood there holding the divorce papers asking him to sign and start a new life. A life without me, a life without us, a life without our memories. It has been 2 years since I've seen him or talked to him. Everything was fine till the 3rd year of our wedding but then it started to get infected. Infected from the germs of lime light, celebrity life.
I earned everything I ever wanted but then in exchange I lost my family, I lost the person I loved the most. I stand here in front the mirror daily and laugh at myself, hate myself. I have everything now. A famous title of Writer and Journalist, A big apartment in the city like London, Cars, Servants, Fans from all across the world still I have nothing. Now I've realized that I'm nothing but a complete slut not because I sleep with men but because I left my family, my husband, my friends for money and fame. Standing here looking myself in the big costly mirror crying is what I do all the mornings. I should have been there with Robert right now, wrapped in the arms of my love, my first love, my Robbie, my Mr. Downey, my Sir..

I started crying and sobbing so hard that I didn't even realized I hit the mirror so hard in anger that it got broken and cut the flesh and skin of my fist. It started bleeding and I didn't bother to medicate it because I know I deserve it. I deserve to get hurt, get broken, get lost in this big city.

I could feel the cold waves hitting me and giving me shivers down my spine and goosebumps. The fresh cold air coming from the window reminds me of Robert and the loneliness of mine.

I still remember the winter days of New York, whenever I felt cold he used to wrap me in his arms and put the blanket over us.
I miss being in his arms, I miss being near him, I miss his laugh, I miss his beautiful brown eyes, I miss his jokes, I miss his smile, I feel lost in this behold city. I have everything still nothing.

I cried and cried untill I fell asleep on the floor wrapped in my own arms and knees like a cocoon.