You're My Life, Sir! *COMPLETED*

Chapter33

I opened my eyes and I realized I'm finally home. I can feel my heart pounding as the driver pulls the cab in front of my house. Nothing has changed. Everything is same as I left except this new garden in front of the house. Dad must've made this. It is covering a whole lot of space from the front, it's beautiful though. I don't know what I'm gonna do rest of my days here. I can't say I'll stay happy forever but New York and my old life can heal a lot. Maybe I'll move on but deep down I know I wanna try with Robert once again but I don't have the guts to spit my whole feelings and life in front of him anymore. I don't even know he is single or married? Does he feel the same for me like before or not? My whole past is in front of me right now. I remember how I left my parents crying on the front door. I don't deserve their love or space in their home but I really can't take that fame or London life anymore. I'll try my best to repay and fix all those past problems. The ride to home was silent. I don't know when I fell asleep, the driver didn't woke me up in the cab, how nice of him. People here are caring and kind. Damn! I've missed this place a lot.

I paid the driver and he helped me with my luggages. He put all the bags in the front door, wished me a good day and left. It's 4.00 am right now, and I'm afraid of ringing the bell. I don't how they all will react?
My whole life, my parents supported me and in return they just asked me to stay with them in their old age, all they asked was to have a happy healthy relation with Robert because they we're aware of the future. They already knew I'm gonna suffer and being the best parents in the world they didn't wanted me to leave. They've accepted me despite all those differences I've made between us, between our relation. They still love me the same but I can feel the fog I've created, the wall I've made between me and the whole world. My heartbeat feels as though it is in the base of my throat, uncomfortable and loud. My mouth is dry, it hurts to swallow. I don't know what frightens me. I'm standing here in New York, in front of my house and I'm afraid of being back in my old room with all the memories I've created. I moved my shaking hand on the door bell and ringed it twice and then I heard the voice of my dad. I can feel chills and shivers in my whole body, I'm shaking , after 2 years I've heard dad's voice in front of me. It feels so good to be back but at the same time, I'm embarrassed.

Dad opened the door and he stood there staring me for 1 or 2 minutes without saying a word and neither did I bothered to speak up. It was such a blissful and relaxed feeling seeing dad in front of me after all these years. He's aging like wine fine I must say. His beard all black and white and well shaped, hairs falling on his forehead, seems like he was sleeping nice. I can see his eyes got wider when he realized it was me. At first he opened the door and looked at me without realising that it's me in front of him. Well, I don't blame him, I've changed a lot. I'm tired, my skin got so pale, I've lost weight and it feels like I'm aging so fast. I feel like an old women some times. Tears running down my cheeks and so as dad's, he's stuttering.

Hey Dad! I managed to say anyhow.

Shana! Oh my god! Baby you're here, I can't believe. He pulled me into a tight hug. I can feel the warmth of his hug, the smell of my dad's body reminds me of my past days when I used to run and pull him into a tight hug . This is what I've missed and needed so bad all these years. I couldn't control my tears and emotions, I let them flow. I let my tears fall on my dad's shoulder and wet his T-shirt. I can feel warm tears on my shoulder too. He's crying but not saying a word. I can understand that he missed me so much just like I did. Dad and I used to be so close, he was always there whenever I needed someone to hold me. He was there when I fall,  he was there when I cried, he was there when I rode my first bicycle, he was there when I almost lost Robert because of Jeremey. He was always there holding my hands and telling me he's there and I don't have to worry about anything but when he needed me the most, when he wanted me to stay I left and that's the thing I regret the most. I've made some bad decisions that ruined my life and so as my loved once. I regret my whole past 2 years.

I broke the silence and tried to talk to him after all the emotional breakdown we had on the door.

I've missed you so much dad, I've missed your hug, the warmth of your arms that always said to me that you're there in all my times. I'm sorry I left dad. I'm really sorry. I started crying out loud and then I heard mom's voice from the back.

It feels so good to be back home, dad! I said and he kissed me on my forehead. I then walk inside, mom was there, standing near the staircase, holding her tears back. I pulled her in a hug and just cried,  cried until dad came and break the silence.

Oh come on ladies, stop crying and Shana the rules of this house hasn't changed so go and wash your hands first and then come help me with your luggage. Dad said and showed us his bright grin. I saw that funny grin of him and I couldn't hold my laughter.

And Ms. Andrews, we need to have a serious talk about your health, go get fresh then we'll talk about it. Mom said in that strict voice but with a funny face.

We all laughed and enjoyed that moment like the old days.

Ah! It's so good to be back!