You're My Life, Sir! *COMPLETED*

Chapter45

After few minutes, we pulled back and I was in the no stable state of mind.
I looked at him and he had tears in his eyes and I was already crying which I obviously didn't knew untill he rubbed my tears and kissed my forehead.

Everything was so calm and silent, I felt safe, secured, calm, relaxed and there was a mixture of emotions and feelings which I didn't actually understood.

I'm so sorry Mr. Downey, I never wanted to hurt you, I was stupid, I didn't knew that how much I love you and I left. I really loved you and after moving to London, I realized that It's really hard for me to live without you, after that distance, after your absence I realized that how much I love you and I'm really sorry and embarrassed that I left you.
I don't know why I did that but trust me Robert, I really love you, I still do and I just can't handle this life without you anymore.
I know you've moved on, you have a life but I can't tolerate or handle this burden or actually this guilt on me, it's killing me.
I wanted to apologize, I really feel sorry, I'm guilty and I know it, I know it's hard for you to understand or forgive but atleast try, I'm really sorry Robert. I'm sorry for everything.
I said stuttering and soon started sobbing.

Hey, Hey! Just don't cry Shana, You know I can't see you crying. Don't be sorry, whatever happend was past and we've come so far so just let it be. You're getting married and I'll be on my own, what's left now?
Just don't hurt Colin now, be with him and tell him all the truth you're hiding. Don't push him in the dark, he's a nice guy and he loves you so much and you also do then why complicating things? You're really a nice lady and you should know that when you cry you actually look just like the monkey of the city zoo. Nose all red and wet, eyes dark and lips pale, don't try to seduce me Ms Andrews. He said and smirked a little.

I faked a smiled with so much pain in my chest, and walk a step back, folding arms on arms.
Yes, I will definitely tell the truth to Colin, he knows my past and soon he will know the rest, and the wedding thing you're saying is never gonna happen and I'm glad that you atleast told me finally that you've moved on.
I'll take your leave Mr. Downey, thanks for you kind words and time. Hope we'll never ever meet again.

I didn't looked at him and started walking away.
When I reached the parking, my phone beeped and it was a message from an unknown number.

* Since when you started walking without even looking back? Don't you wanna listen the rest of my words? I thought you loved me then why are you again leaving me here, in the middle of no fucking where?*

I saw the message and knew from whom it was, I turned back and he was walking towards me with a good pace.

What do you want Mr. Downey and from where did you get my number? I asked unlocking the door of the car.

Well, I have my ways Ms. Andrews.
Tell me why you came here today? Why you told me that you're not going to marry Colin? Why you told me you still love me?
You left me years ago and when I'm finally overcoming all those things I've been through, you again showed up. Is it funny for you to play with my emotions? Why are you like this Shana? I thought you loved me and you left, I was begging, I was on my fucking knees, crying, sobbing, and you didn't even looked back and just left.
Do you even know how much I've suffered? How much I've missed you? How much messed I am? Can't you see you've killed me already?

I know I did wrong Robert, and I'm really sorry for it, it's not only about you, you're not the only one who've suffered, who've died? I've been trying to smile all these years, I've tried to live life happily atleast for one day but no, I can't.
I just can't be happy without you. I was the stupid one, I know, but I never stopped loving you. I still do but I guess it's too late and since you've moved on with your girl and don't give a fuck about me, I guess I should go back to my own life. I came here to see you one last time, because I was wrong with the idea of coming back to New York, and Yes I'm going back to London.
I'm sorry Mr. Downey, I ruined your life and day, I'm sorry I even existed in your life once. I'm sorry for every single thing.
I almost shouted at him, and started crying out loud.

When you missed the hell of me this much then why you never showed up before, you never called nor texted. There were no signs of you. You never contacted me or tried to. You jus- just left. Left me here, all alone.
You knew how alone I already was and still you did that. You hurted me to the zenith. You crossed the level of torchuring. I was exhausted with everything untill I knew that you've came back. I was started living a normal life when I heard that you're in town, I didn't wanted to face you I guess but I was happy and when I finally met you, I heard the greatest news of the century, wow, your second wedding with that jerk, oh sorry, your baby, Col. Am I right? I was again heart broken, how many times would you love to kill me Ms? I'm ready, come on, go on, shoot me. Kill me for ever man because even I can't handle this anymore.
You cheated, you left, you broke everything we had. He started throwing hands in the air and shouting, he had tears running down the cheeks.

If I'm this much bad for you, then lets just finish it, I promise you that you will never see me again. I'm sorry that I came. I won't ever bother you again.
Mr. Downey, I've loved you since the day I saw you, I still do and I will till my last breath. No one will ever replace you. I hope you'll hate me till your last.
Goodbye Robert.

I sat in, started the ignition and drove off to the road. I stopped the car few blocks after the school and it was raining heavy.
I looked at the sky and it was all black, I went out and sat on the front of my car.
I was trying to control my emotions but it wasn't possible and just in seconds I burst out and started crying. Nothing seemed right, nothing seemed needed for life, I wanted to die, I cried and cried untill I saw a car light coming from the back with full pace.

I turned back and tried to look but everything was so foggy and unclear.