Depression Is My Kryptonite

Didn't Say Goodbye

For My PaPaw:
     1957-2016
You left us broken and missing some parts,
You left me shattered into a million pieces on the floor,
They've all forgotten and they don't hurt anymore,
I can't forget and I can't forgive them for forgetting.
I can still hear your keys rattling in the distance,
I still sense your presence all around me,
I never got to say Good bye and bid you farewell.
My arms didn't wrap around your neck and I didn't cry into your unmoving chest.
My last words to you were 'Love you. Stay strong see you later.' Through a text.
I can't remember the last thing I said to you in person, not even the last thing that I did with you.
My chest hums a bit softer now,
And I can't sing as loud, the words get lost in the tears.
Your little star has begun to flicker in the night instead of shine as bright as possible.
I wasn't able to confide in you about all of my deep secrets that I keep hidden from the family.
I miss you still and I truly wish that you were here.
I'll never understand how they can play along so well with their little charade.
I can't, the pain can't be contained inside of me.
Still wallowing in tears, but it's alright.
I've grown much sadder now and I have a hard time dealing with the pain of losing you.
It's been a bit over a year now and I still want to ball up in a corner and cry when I hear your name.
I love you PaPaw.
I love you with all my heart, but I never got to say that of course.
You may have never known how much I looked up to you like a father.
You are the best PaPaw I could've asked for.
I love you and I miss you and I will always wish that you were here.
I may not have been given the chance to say good bye while you were alive, but I have sent you on your way in my dreams many times.