Can I sign out yet? I'm so tired of constantly spiraling and forcing myself to smile and be positive when I feel like wallowing in my self pity and harming myself. Life has gotten to the point of such fucking bullshit that I'm so tired of living. I don't even know how I survived this long without just ending the inevitable suffering. Don't worry though, I don't have the guts to kill myself, I never have, maybe one day I'll have such a luxury to know that I have the will to end it all. Who gives a shit anymore anyways? Nobody is reading this, hell this could be my "famous last words" and no one would ever know. Well, thats my thoughts anyway. And you know what else, I just started talking to this really amazing person and they're going through some stuff that I went through and I could've FUCKING helped and I decided not to because at the time it started I didn't know them very well and now they're paying for it. They deserve better, so much better that you don't even fucking understand. Although this is all true they're probably sitting at home right now thinking some thoughts like these and telling themselves that they don't deserve anything and that they are a burden to this world. Call me a hypocrite, I don't give a shit, they don't deserve the shit show that's been handed to them and they definitely don't fucking deserve a 'companion' like me trying to help. They deserve more, better. I know that I can give them love that matters and treat them like the kind and endearing person that they are, but they still deserve better.
Thoughts From My Chaotic and Fucked Up Mind Who Wants to Love Something That Deserves Much Better Than My Hypocritical Self.
I hate myself.
YOU ARE READING
Depression Is My Kryptonite
PuisiA jumble of extremely depressing poems written by me. And ramblings that feature mood swings every other second. Oh well.
