Depression Is My Kryptonite

What's Wrong?

What's wrong with me?
It's been three days of this numb pain.
Why won't it go away?
I thought that I was fine.
That is, until I almost started crying at a child's birthday party a couple hours ago.
I started to think of how I could've said everything different.
How I could've reassured you more.
But, it's too late.
Damn.
I guess you're the one I let get away, even though you aren't really gone.
We're still friends, of course.
I just can't figure out why I shut down again.
Why I'm shut down now...
I said that I wasn't going to do this again.
I swore to myself that I wouldn't disappear, that I wouldn't give up.
Too late.
I really wish that I didn't do this shit to myself, to you and to everyone else.
Keep dreaming.
Time to put the mask back on.
Thanks again, for everything that you helped me with.
Even though most of it you don't even realize.