Depression Is My Kryptonite

Nine

Sb. Eb. Jp. Md. Bd. Ac. Rc. Cc. Dg.
Nine people.
Why nine?
Why do I have to be so easily captivated?
I wish I didn't like anybody anymore.
Most of them have rejected me.
Friend-zoned me.
Or just aren't within my reach.
One of them dated me.
And now we're besties.
I'm actually pretty okay with how it turned out.
But there are still times when I wish it had worked out.
One of them is my other best friend.
But she seems to have moved on from me in her own way.
And she's rejected me through her teasing multiple times.
Which I don't have a problem with either.
One of them isn't the right sexual orientation for me to be chasing.
One isn't ready.
One is out of my league.
Hell, all of them are.
Three of them are in relationships.
Two of which are a couple.
And the last one is absolutely clueless.
He hurt me.
By telling me the truth.
Crushes.
They suck.
They hurt.
But they're all my friends, or are becoming them.
And I'd rather have some type of relationship with them than none at all.
Nan Demo.
I just have to move on.
This is why I gave up.
This is why I tried my damnest to stop liking them.
Why I stopped trying and I stopped speaking about it.
Because they need a friend.
Nothing more.
And I want to be there for them.